The Outing

“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”
– Jerry, denying that he is gay, but not wanting to be seen as anti-gay, in “The Outing”
“You can do better than me. You could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me. I’m no good!”
– George, trying to get rid of his current girlfriend, in “The Outing”
“Hey, who do you think is the most unattractive world leader?
“Living or all time?”
“All time.”
“Well, if it’s all time, then there’s no contest. It begins and ends with Brezhnev.”
“I dunno. You ever get a good look at DeGaulle?”
“Lyndon Johnson was uglier than DeGaulle.”
“I got news for you. Golda Meir could make ’em all run up a tree.”
– Elaine, Jerry and George, in “The Outing”
“I’m not goin’ along. I can just see you in Berlin in 1939 goose-stepping past me: ‘C’mon Jerry, go along, go along…'”
– Jerry to George, in “The Outing”
“Yeah, ‘cuz I’m single, I’m thin and I’m neat.”
“And you get along well with women.”
“I guess that leaves me in the clear…”
– Jerry, Elaine and George, on why some people might thing Jerry is gay, in “The Outing”
“Actually it was in gym class. I was trying to climb the ropes and Jerry was spotting me. I kept slipping and burning my thighs and then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry’s head. We’ve been close ever since.”
– George, explaining how he and Jerry met, in “The Outing”
“Look, you wanna have sex right now? Do want to have sex with me right now? Let’s go! C’mon, let’s go baby! C’mon!”
– George, trying to convince a reporter that he’s not gay, in “The Outing”
“Ya know, there are tribes in Indonesia where if you keep your coat on in somebody’s house, the families go to war!”
– George, in “The Outing”
“Guys And Dolls? Isn’t that a lavish, broadway musical?”
“It’s Guys And Dolls, not Guys And Guys.”
– Jerry and George, still concerned that people might think they’re gay, in “The Outing”
“Every day it’s something else with you. I don’t know anything about you any more. Who are you? What kind of life are you leading? Who knows what you’re doing? Maybe you’re making porno films.”
“Yeah. I’m Buck Naked.”
– George’s mother and George, in “The Outing”
“I’m gay! I’m a gay man! I’m very, very gay.”
“You’re gay?”
“Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.”
– George and Allison, as he tries one more tactic to end the relationship, in “The Outing”