The Soup Nazi

“You’re a shmoopy.”
“You’re a shmoopy.”
– Sheila and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
You can’t eat this soup standing up, your knees buckle.”
– Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
“The guy who runs the place is a little temperamental, especially about the ordering procedure. He’s secretly referred to as the Soup Nazi.”
Why? What happens if you don’t order right?”
“He yells and you don’t get your soup.”
– Jerry and Elaine, in “The Soup Nazi”
It’s very important not to embellish on your order. No extraneous comments. No questions. No compliments.
– Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
He gave you the nice face discount.”
– Jerry, to Elaine, in “The Soup Nazi”
Um, excuse me, I – I think you forgot my bread.”
Bread, two dollars extra.”
“Two dollars? But everyone in front of me got free bread.”
“You want bread?”
“Yes, please.”
“Three dollars!”
“No soup for you!”
– George and the Soup Nazi, in “The Soup Nazi”
“Why can’t we share?
I told you not to say anything. You can’t go in there, brazenly flaunt the rules and then think I’m gonna share with you.
“Do you hear yourself?”
“I’m sorry. This is what comes from living under a Nazi regime.”
– George and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
He’s not a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.”
– Kramer, in “The Soup Nazi”
Shhh! I gotta focus. I’m shifting into soup mode.”
– George, in “The Soup Nazi”
You’re pushing your luck, little man.
– The Soup Nazi, to George, in “The Soup Nazi”
Has anyone ever told you you look exactly like Al Pacino? You know, Scent Of A Woman? Hoo-wah! Hoo-wah!”
“Very good. Very good.”
“Well, I …”
“You know something?”
“No soup for you!”
“Come back one year. Next!”
– Elaine and the Soup Nazi, in “The Soup Nazi”
Street toughs took my armoire?
– Elaine, in “The Soup Nazi”
So, essentially, you chose soup over a woman?
It was a bisque.”
“Yeah. You know what I just realized? Suddenly, George has become much more normal than you.”
– Elaine and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
I don’t think George has ever thought he’s better than anybody.
– Elaine, in “The Soup Nazi”
You are the only one who understands me.
You suffer for your soup.”
– The Soup Nazi and Kramer, in “The Soup Nazi”
Well, behind every joke there’s some truth.
What about that Bavarian cream pie joke I told you? There’s no truth to that. Nobody with a terminal illness goes from the United States to Europe for a piece of Bavarian cream pie and then when they get there and they don’t have it he says, ‘Ah, I’ll just have some coffee.’ There’s no truth to that.”
– Sheila and Jerry, in “The Soup Nazi”
You’re through, Soup Nazi. Pack it up. No more soup for you. Next!
– Elaine, in “The Soup Nazi”