Seinfeld Quotes...


"How could this not have any fat? It's too good!"
- George, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"This is so *!@#$*! good!"
- Jerry, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Something wrong with your arm?"
"Uh yeah, actually, I bumped my elbow on a desk and injured something and now it sort of moves involuntarily."
- Lloyd Braun and George, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"It's got a remarkable texture."
- Kramer, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"What'sa matter?"
"I was having lunch and I bit down on the fork."
"Boy, it's hard to believe with so much biting experience a person could still make a mistake like that."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"I did this thing on the Ottoman Empire. Like, what was this? A whole empire based on putting your feet up?"
- Jerry, after a good standup routine, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"You don't eat Oreos? The way you break 'em open and.... It's like you're having sex with 'em."
- Kramer, to Elaine, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Maybe your yogurt isn't so non-fat."
"Oh, guess again, tubby."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Hey, I'll tell you what, chubbs, if that yogurt has fat in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet for a week."
"Well, let's start the insanity."
"Mmmmmm.... giddyup!"
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"You discussed George with the Mayor of New York?!?"
- Frank, George's father, to Lloyd, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Well, I wouldn't hear of it. I said 'Nice try, Granny,' and I sent her to the back of the line."
- Newman, joking with fellow postal workers, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Hey! Another round of strawberry for me and my friends!"
- Newman, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Hey, fatso, I got a 90 in biology."
- Kramer, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Ooooo, test tubes. Cool...."
- Kramer, visiting the testing lab, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"My whole life is a lie."
- George, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
- Kramer, after wiggling his fingers over a bunsen burner, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"You know what I would do if I was running for mayor? One of my campaign themes would be that everybody should wear nametags all the time to make the city friendlier."
- Elaine, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Well, the yogurt verdict is in.... FAT!"
- Jerry, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"What makes you think that I have time to see doctors, take x-rays, make appointments, when there's absolutely nothing wrong with me? What kind of a person would do a thing like that?"
"I don't know what kind of person would do something like that. Obviously a very sick person, a very immature person, a person who has no regard for wasting other people's valuable time."
- George and a doctor, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"I can't eat this!"
- Newman, after sampling the new, truly non-fat yogurt, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
"Thanks for ruining my daddy's business, you fat !@*#!"
- Matthew, to Jerry, in "The Non-Fat Yogurt"
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