Seinfeld Quotes...


"I've been lying about my income for a few years. I figured I could afford a fake house in the Hamptons."
- George, in "The Wizard"
"Boys, I'm retiring."
"From what?"
"From the grind. I mean, who needs it? I've accomplished everything I've set out to do."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Wizard"
"Kramer, you can't live down here. This is where people come to die."
- Jerry, discovering Kramer has moved to a retirement community in Florida, in "The Wizard"
"You feed him, he'll never leave."
- Jerry, about Kramer, in "The Wizard"
"So Kramer's running for president of the condo?"
"Yeah, it's all my father's doing. He wants to install Kramer in a puppet regime and then wield power from behind the scenes."
"Who are they running against?"
"Common sense and a guy in a wheelchair."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Wizard"
"I'm calling up the Rosses and inviting them out to my non-existent place in the Hamptons. Then we'll see who blinks first."
"Haven't you done enough to these people?"
- George and Elaine, in "The Wizard"
"And I have horses too."
"What are their names?"
"Snoopy and Prickly Pete."
- George and Mr. Ross, in "The Wizard"
"How could you spend $200 on a tip calculator?!"
- Morty Seinfeld, to Jerry, in "The Wizard"
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