Seinfeld Quotes...


"You've got a lot to learn about pancakes."
- Jerry, in "The Wife"
"I'm really enjoying this marriage thing. You think about each other, you care about each other. It's wonderful. Plus, I love saying 'my wife'. Once I started saying it, I couldn't stop. 'My wife' this, 'My wife' that. It's an amazing way to begin a sentence."
- Jerry, in "The Wife"
"Hey Elaine, what do you say, if neither of us is married in ten years, we get hitched?"
"Make it fifty."
"We're engaged!"
- Kramer and Elaine, in "The Wife"
"I don't know why you're interested in this guy. He's a jerk."
"Because he doesn't pay any attention to me, and he ignores me."
"Yeah, so?"
"I respect that."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Wife"
"You went in the shower?"
"Yeah, so what? I'm not the only one!"
"Do you go in the shower?"
"No, never."
"Do you?"
"I take baths."
- Elaine, George, Jerry and Kramer, in "The Wife"
"Why couldn't you just wait?"
"I was there. I saw a drain."
"Since when is a drain a toilet?"
"It's all pipes. What's the difference?"
"Different pipes go to different places! You're gonna mix them up!"
"I'll call a plumber right now!"
- Elaine and George, in "The Wife"
"That's how I maintain my glow."
- Kramer, explaining his visit to a tanning salon, in "The Wife"
"A guy leaves a puddle of sweat, that's a signal?"
"Yeah, it's a social thing."
"What if he left you a used Kleenex? What's that, a valentine?"
- George and Elaine, in "The Wife"
"I guess I just wasn't ready for the responsibilities of a pretend-marriage."
- Jerry, in "The Wife"


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