Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE TICKET"

"Yo-Yo Ma!"

- Kramer, suffering the ill effects of a kick to the head, in "The Ticket"

 

"I'm not taking a cab."

"I'll pay for it."

"It's not the money."

"Well, what is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?"

- George and Jerry, in "The Ticket"

"You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me and my helmet. I saved your life! You would be dead! Dead! You would cease to exist! You would be gone for the rest of eternity! You wouldn't even begin to comprehend what that means!"

- Newman, to Kramer, in "The Ticket"

 

"Why didn't you shave this morning?"

"Because I shaved yesterday in the afternoon."

"Why?"

"Because of the day before. It's a long story."

- Jerry and George, in "The Ticket"

 

"I was never able to become a banker."

- Kramer, inventing a story with Newman, in "The Ticket"

 

"The story is the foundation of all entertainment. You must have a good story otherwise it's just masturbation."

- George, in "The Ticket"

 

"That's good judgment. That's a pile of judgment there."

- George, in "The Ticket"

 

"Yes, I admit I was speeding, but it was to save a man's life. A close friend. An innocent person who wanted nothing more out of life than to love, to be loved, and to be a banker."

- Newman, in "The Ticket"

 

"I can't live knowing Ted Danson makes that much more than me. Who is he?"

"He's somebody."

"What about me?"

"You're nobody."

"Why him? Why not me?"

"He's good, you're not."

"I'm better than him."

"You're worse, much much worse."

- George and Jerry, in "The Ticket"

 

"You know, a muffin can be very filling!"

- Jerry, in "The Ticket"

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