Seinfeld Quotes...


"I always get the feeling that when lesbians look at me, they're thinking, 'That's why I'm not a heterosexual.'"
- George, in "The Subway"
"What am I, made of money? You bunch of deadbeats!"
- Elaine, stuck with the check again, in "The Subway"
"Looking for the quotes. Gotta check the quotes. Love a good quote."
- George, trying to impress a woman, in "The Subway"
"Big brokerage houses killed my father."
- George, still trying to impress a woman, in "The Subway"
"It's ironic."
"What's ironic?"
"This. That we've come all this way, we made all this progress, but, you know, we lost the little things, the niceties."
"No, I mean, what does `ironic' mean?"
- Elaine and woman on subway, in "The Subway"
"My luck. I don't talk to a soul on the subway for thirty-five years. I get the best man at a lesbian wedding."
- A woman on the subway, talking to Elaine, in "The Subway"
"I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian!"
- Elaine, in "The Subway"
"His mother was a mudder... His father was a mudder."
- Kramer, in "The Subway"
"You realize, of course, you're naked."
"Naked, dressed, I don't see any difference."
"You ought to sit *here*. There's a difference."
"You got something against a naked body?"
"I got something against yours. How about a couple deep knee bends, maybe some squat thrusts."
"Who's got time for squat thrusts?"
"All right, how 'bout skippin' breakfast? I'm guessing you're not a half-grapefruit and black coffee man."
"I like a good breakfast."
"I understand, I like a good breakfast. As long as you don't wind up trapped in a room in bib overalls and pigtails being counseled by Dick Gregory."
"I'm not ashamed of my body."
"Exactly. That's your problem. You should be."
- Jerry and the Naked Guy, in "The Subway"
"Tell you what, if they win the pennant this year, I'll sit naked with you at the World Series."
- Jerry, to the naked guy, in "The Subway"
"You can't just leave me here! Will I see you again?"
- George, after being robbed by a beautiful woman, in "The Subway"
"Biff! What, did you whistle in the elevator?"
- Jerry, seeing George walk into the diner wearing nothing but a sheet, in "The Subway"
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