Seinfeld Quotes...


"Low flow? I don't like the sound of that."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head"
"You see this? Any thought pops into their head, they're calling me because it's a local call now. I'm used to a 1200-mile buffer zone. I can't handle this. Plus, I've got the dinners, I've got the pop-in's. They pop-in! It's brutal."
- Jerry, about his parents, in "The Shower Head"
"If I don't have a good shower, I am not myself. I feel weak and ineffectual. I'm not Kramer."
- Kramer, in "The Shower Head"
"If you could perhaps conduct the psychopath convention down the hall..."
- Jerry, to his parents and the Costanzas, in "The Shower Head"
"I just took a bath, Jerry. A bath!"
"No good?"
"It's disgusting. I'm sitting there in a tepid pool of my own filth. All kinds of microscopic parasites and organisms having sex all around me."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Shower Head"
"Now here's the lowdown. Through a certain connection, I've been able to locate some black market shower heads. They're all made in the former Yugoslavia. And from what I hear, the Serbs are fanatic about their showers."
"Not from the footage I've seen."
- Newman and Jerry, in "The Shower Head"
"This is Frank Costanza. You think you can keep us out of Florida? We're moving in lock, stock and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool. We're gonna be in the clubhouse. We're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court. And I dare you to keep me out!"
- Frank Costanza, to Jerry's dad, in "The Shower Head"
"Look at you, you're disgusting. You're bald, you're paunchy. All kinds of sounds are emanating from your body twenty-four hours a day. If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death... which is not far off by the way."
- Jerry, to Uncle Leo, in "The Shower Head"


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