Seinfeld Quotes...


"I miss the days when they made toys that could kill a kid."
- Jerry, in "The Seven"
"The only way to really help her is to just let her be."
- Jerry, about Elaine, in "The Seven"
"Carrie, you and Susan are cousins... So, your baby daughter is gonna be Susan's second cousin, right? So what does that make me?"
"It doesn't make you anything."
"Well, so legally I could marry your daughter!"
- George and Carrie, in "The Seven"
"Are you unhappy with our arrangement?"
"What arrangement?"
"Well, I was under the impression that I could take anything I wanted from your fridge, and you could take whatever you want from mine."
"Yeah? Well, let me know when you get something in there and I will."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Seven"
"I think I really sprained it."
"Ah, I doubt you sprained it. Maybe you pulled it."
"Did you twist it? You could've twisted it."
"I don't know."
"Did you wrench it? Did you jam it? Maybe you squeezed it, turned it..."
"You know what? Why don't you just shut the hell up."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Seven"
"A wise man once taught me the healing power of the body's natural pressure points. He sells t-shirts outside the World Trade Center."
- Kramer, in "The Seven"
"Seven Costanza... You're serious?"
"Yeah. It's a beautiful name for a boy or a girl. Especially a girl... Or a boy."
"I don't think so."
"What, you don't like the name?"
"It's not a name. It's a number."
"I know. It's Mickey Mantle's number. So not only is it an all-around beautiful name, it is also a living tribute."
- George and Susan, in "The Seven"
"Seven? Yeah, I guess I could see it. Seven. Seven periods of school, seven beatings a day. Roughly seven stitches a beating, and eventually seven years to life. Yeah, you're doing that child quite a service."
- Jerry, in "The Seven"
"I defy you to come up with a better name than Seven."
"Alright, let's see... How about Mug? Mug Costanza. That's original. Or Ketchup. Pretty name for a girl."
"Alright... You having a good time now?"
"I've got fifty right here in the cupboard... How about Bisquick? Pimento? Gherkin? Sauce? Maxwell House?"
"Alright already!!"
- George and Jerry, in "The Seven"
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