Seinfeld Quotes...


"Was he on his death bed?"
"No, he was on his regular bed."
- George and Jerry, in "The Scofflaw"
"I need a new look. I'm stagnating."
- Kramer, in "The Scofflaw"
"I've been living a lie."
"Just one? I'm living like twenty."
- Gary and George, in "The Scofflaw"
"I told Jake you said hi."
"What?! You told Jake I said hi?"
"I can't believe you did that. Why did you tell him I said hi? I never said hi. When did I say hi?"
- Kramer and Elaine, in "The Scofflaw"
"I had the upper hand in the post-breakup relationship. If he thinks that I said hi, then I lose the upper hand."
"It's like a game of tag."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Scofflaw"
"I don't think I can be that nice."
"You be nice!"
- Jerry and George, in "The Scofflaw"
"What's this?
"It's an eyepatch."
"You look like a pirate."
"I want to be a pirate."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Scofflaw"
"I hate smugness. Don't you hate smugness?"
"Smugness is not a good quality."
- Elaine and a taxi driver, in "The Scofflaw"
"Why don't you get a pair of white shoes, move down to Miami Beach and get the whole thing over with?"
- Jerry, to George, who is buying a toupee, in "The Scofflaw"


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