Seinfeld Quotes...


"I can't believe you're really going out with a woman named Lois."
"I know. Finally!"
- George and Jerry, in "The Race"
"Man, that's some tart cider."
- Jerry, enjoying a holiday beverage, in "The Race"
"So, you were the fastest kid in school."
"Faster than a speeding bullet, Lois."
- Lois and Jerry, in "The Race"
"The Daily Worker has personals?"
"Yeah, and they say that appearance is not important."
"Yours or hers?"
- Jerry and George, in "The Race"
"Yes, this is a business office, but I'm not a businessman per se. I'm here working for the people. I'm causing dissent, stirring the pot, getting people to question the whole rotten system."
- George, trying to get a date with a communist, in "The Race"
"Eight hours of jingle-belling and ho-ho-hoing. Boy, I am ho'd out."
- Kramer, working as a department store Santa Claus, in "The Race"
"So, what have you been doing with yourself?"
"I'm a comedian."
"Well, I really wouldn't know about that. I don't watch much TV. I like to read. What do you do, a lot of that 'Did you ever notice' kind of stuff? It strikes me a lot of guys are doing that kind of humor."
"Yeah yeah... Boy, you really went bald there, didn't you? You used to really have a thick full head of hair."
"Well, I guess I started losing it when I was about 28, right around the time I made my first million."
- George and Jerry, acting like they haven't seen each other in years, in "The Race"
"There are no delicatessens under communism."
"Woah, why not?"
"Well, because the meats are divided into a class system. You've got pastrami and corned beef in one class and salami and bologna in another. That's not right."
"So you can't get corned beef?"
"Well, you know, if you're in the Politburo, maybe."
- Kramer and Mickey, in "The Race"
"Fine, you want to be a communist, be a communist. Can't you at least look like a successful communist?"
- Elaine, to her boyfriend, in "The Race"


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