"They don't actually have to squeeze his head
to get him to say 'Holy cow', do they?"
"Just the last few innings of a
double-header."
- Jerry
and George. about Phil Rizzuto, in "The
Pothole"
"Well, look at that. A talking Nixon."
- Kramer,
seeing George's Phil Rizzuto key chain, in "The
Pothole"
"As of today I am a proud parent of a
one-mile stretch of the Arthur Berkhardt
Expressway."
- Kramer,
in "The Pothole"
"This parenting isn't about delegating
responsibility, it's about being there."
"At the side of the road, with a
pile of garbage."
"Quality time."
- Kramer
and Jerry, in "The Pothole"
"You lost Phil Rizzuto's head?!"
- Jerry,
to George, in "The Pothole"
"This isn't fair. This is address
discrimination!"
- Elaine,
to the delivery boy, in "The Pothole"
"So the plan is to secretly sterilize her
mouth?"
"By the time I'm through with her
mouth, she'll be able to eat off it."
- George
and Jerry, in "The Pothole"
"So now you're finding fault on a sub-atomic
level."
- Elaine,
to Jerry, in "The Pothole"
"Jerry, you have tendencies. They're always
annoying, but they were just tendencies. But now, if you
can't kiss this girl, I'm afraid we're talking disorder."
"Disorder?"
"And from disorder, you're a
quirk or two away from full-on dementia."
- Elaine
and Jerry, in "The Pothole"
"You could've introduced me."
"I wouldn't know where to
start."
- Jerry
and Kramer, in "The Pothole"
"You're pretending to live in a janitor's
closet just to get this flounder?"
"It's better than eating it alone in the
restaurant, like some loser."
- Jerry
and Elaine, in "The Pothole"
"That stuff is unbelievable. I'd eat it out
of a dumpster."
- Kramer,
about the flounder, in "The Pothole"
"I just have to do all the jack-hammering
myself."
"Oh that's nice, kind of a hard-labor fantasy
camp."
- George
and Jerry, in "The Pothole"
"Hi. Jerry, can I borrow your car?"
"For what?"
"I have to haul some dirty
garbage to the dump."
"Dirt? That's alright, because
there's nothing wrong with dirt."
"Well, actually it's pretty
grimy."
"Grime, grease, filth, funk,
ooze. Whatever it is, you take that stuff and put it
right on my leather upholstery."
"Well, I don't know who you are,
but thanks for the car."
