Seinfeld Quotes...


"I get a percentage of every pledge I bring in, right?"
"No. It's not aluminum siding, it's volunteer work."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Pledge Drive"
"I put a lot of thought into this card."
"You signed your name and you addressed the envelope. It's not like you painted the picture and wrote the poem."
- Kristen and Jerry, in "The Pledge Drive"
"A gift not enjoyed is like a flower that doesn't blossom."
- Kramer, in "The Pledge Drive"
"If my parents had a mantle, I might be a completely different person."
- George, in "The Pledge Drive"
"Do your thing there where you lie to everyone."
- Jerry, to George, in "The Pledge Drive"
"What the hell are you doing?"
"I am eating my dessert. How do you eat it? With your hands?"
- Exec and George, in "The Pledge Drive"
"Did you just see what happened here? Did you see the way she pointed at the check? She gave me the finger!"
"That's how waitress-types express derision. They don't want to get their mouths dirty."
- George and Jerry, in "The Pledge Drive"
"That finger was meant for me!"
- George, in "The Pledge Drive"
"Great. I'm going out with a man who sounds like a woman."
"Well, he looks like a man."
- Noreen and Elaine, in "The Pledge Drive"
"Where are the totebags? I'm not leaving the premises without totebags. I was promised totebags and totebags I shall have."
- Kramer, volunteering at PBS, in "The Pledge Drive"
"I saw someone on the street eating M&M's with a spoon."
- Jerry, in "The Pledge Drive"


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