Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE PIE"

"It's like they chopped off your arms and legs, dipped you in plastic, then screwed you all back together again and stuck you on a pedestal. It's really quite exquisite."

- Kramer, telling Elaine about her lookalike mannequin, in "The Pie"

 

"Did you just roll your eyes at him? Because let me tell you something. If anybody should be rolling their eyes, it is me, at him, about you."

- Elaine, to a rude store clerk, in "The Pie"

 

"It'll be a funky adventure."

- Kramer, inviting Elaine to scratch his back, in "The Pie"

 

"I'm going home to spatula."

- Kramer, in "The Pie"

 

"Do you need some help with that itch?"

"Madam, I pray you're not toying with me."

- The cashier at Monk's and Kramer, in "The Pie"

 

"A chef who doesn't wash is like a cop who steals. It's a cry for help. He wants to get caught."

- Jerry, in "The Pie"

 

"You guys ought to see the way she works her nails across my back. Ooooo! She's a maestro. The criss-cross, the figure-eight, strummin' on the old banjo. And this wild savage free-for-all where anything can happen."

- Kramer, in "The Pie"

 

"This woman is bending my mind into a pretzel."

- Jerry, in "The Pie"

 

"That's my ass in your window!"

- Elaine, seeing the mannequin posed in an embarrassing position, in "The Pie"

 

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting a hankering for some Doublemint gum."

- Jerry, to Elaine, after they steal her lookalike mannequin, in "The Pie"

 

"Poppie's a little sloppy."

- Jerry, after Poppie is taken away by health inspectors, in "The Pie"

 

"Conformity's an obsession with me."

- George, in "The Pie"

 

"Did you ever solve the riddle of the pie?"

"No, that's one for the ages."

- George and Jerry, in "The Pie"

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