Seinfeld Quotes...


"I'll sleep standing up. I'll be fine."
- Morty Seinfeld, in "The Pen"
"Why do you need more friends? You've got plenty of friends."
"He's an idealist."
- Morty and Helen, about Jerry, in "The Pen"
"What kind of pen is that?"
"This pen?"
"This is an astronaut pen. It writes upside down. They use this in space."
- Jerry and Jack Klompus, in "The Pen"
"Come on, take the pen!"
"I can't take it."
"Do me a personal favor!"
"No, I'm not..."
"Take the pen!"
"I cannot take it!"
"Take the pen!"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive! Take the pen!"
"Okay. Thank you very much."
- Jack and Jerry, in "The Pen"
"If he likes it so much, he never should have offered it."
"He didn't think you'd accept."
"Well, he was wrong."
- Jerry and Helen, in "The Pen"
"It's only for three days. Today's over and we have tomorrow. We leave on Sunday. It's one day, really."
- Jerry, to Elaine, in "The Pen"
"I'm sleeping on a love seat. I've got my feet up in the air like I'm in a space capsule."
- Jerry, in "The Pen"
"It's one day. Half a day, really. I mean you substract showers and meals, it's like twenty minutes."
- Jerry, to Elaine, in "The Pen"
"You're going underwater?"
"Yes. Generally that's where scuba diving is done."
"What do you have to go underwater for? What's down there that's so special?"
"What's so special up here?"
- Helen and Jerry, in "The Pen"
"Mrs. Seinfeld, please. I am begging you. Put the air conditioner on."
"You're hot?"
"I've lost six pounds."
"I don't even know how to work it."
- Elaine and Helen, in "The Pen"
"What is going on in this community? Are you people aware of what's happening? What is driving you to this behavior? Is it the humidity? Is it the Muzak? Is it the white shoes?!"
- Jerry, to his parents, in "The Pen"
"Listen, you should get your cousin Jeffrey to write some material for you."
- Uncle Leo, to Jerry, in "The Pen"
- Elaine, doing her best drug-induced Brando impression after meeting Jerry's Aunt Stella, in "The Pen"
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