Seinfeld Quotes...


"Wait. Those are the clothes from the bag!"
"The guy never came back."
"He asked you to watch them, not wear them."
"I'm still watching them."
- Jerry and George, in "The Muffin Tops"
"When do you start to worry about ear hair?"
"When you hear like a soft rustling."
- George and Jerry, in "The Muffin Tops"
"Why is it every half-wit and sitcom star has his own book out now?"
- Mr. Littman, in "The Muffin Tops"
"I did something stupid."
"What'd you do?"
"Well, I was shaving, and I noticed an assymmetry in my chest hair. And I was trying to even it out. And the next thing I know... Gone!"
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Muffin Tops"
"So you're pretending to be a tourist?"
"It's beautiful. She makes all the plans. I'm not from around here, so it's okay if I'm stupid. And she knows I'm only in town visiting, so there's no messy breakups."
- Jerry and George, in "The Muffin Tops"
"The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality."
- Jerry, about Kramer, in "The Muffin Tops"
"You know, if you take everything I've done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent."
- George, in "The Muffin Tops"
"We have a bonus ultra-reality stop today. We're going to be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository."
"We're going to a garbage dump?"
"And we're off!"
"You know, I never thought he'd be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close."
- Kramer, a Tourist, and Jerry, in "The Muffin Tops"
Back to the Index