Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE MUFFIN TOPS"


"Wait. Those are the clothes from the bag!"
"The guy never came back."
"He asked you to watch them, not wear them."
"I'm still watching them."
- Jerry and George, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"When do you start to worry about ear hair?"
"When you hear like a soft rustling."
- George and Jerry, in "The Muffin Tops"
"Why is it every half-wit and sitcom star has his own book out now?"
- Mr. Littman, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"I did something stupid."
"What'd you do?"
"Well, I was shaving, and I noticed an assymmetry in my chest hair. And I was trying to even it out. And the next thing I know... Gone!"
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"So you're pretending to be a tourist?"
"It's beautiful. She makes all the plans. I'm not from around here, so it's okay if I'm stupid. And she knows I'm only in town visiting, so there's no messy breakups."
- Jerry and George, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"The last thing this guy's qualified to give a tour of is reality."
- Jerry, about Kramer, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"You know, if you take everything I've done in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks decent."
- George, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
"We have a bonus ultra-reality stop today. We're going to be hauling muffin stumps to the local repository."
"We're going to a garbage dump?"
"And we're off!"
"You know, I never thought he'd be able to recreate the experience of actually knowing him, but this is pretty close."
- Kramer, a Tourist, and Jerry, in "The Muffin Tops"
 
 
 
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