Seinfeld Quotes...


"A guy who's about five foot eleven, he's got uh, a big head and flared nostrils."
- Kramer, describing Jerry, in "The Movie"
"Like, a horse face, big teeth, and a pointed nose."
- George, describing Jerry, in "The Movie"
"A short guy with glasses, looked like Humpty Dumpty with a melon head."
- The ticket lady, describing George, in "The Movie"
"A pretty woman, you know, kinda short, big wall of hair, face like a frying pan."
- George, describing Elaine, in "The Movie"
"Have you seen a tall, lanky dufus with a bird face and hair like the bride of Frankenstein?"
- Elaine, describing Kramer, in "The Movie"
"I don't want a movie hot dog. I want a Papaya King hot dog!"
- Kramer, in "The Movie"
"George, you're sappin' my strength."
- Elaine, in "The Movie"
"Do you think I need to lose some weight?
"Weight? No, you just need some height."
- Pat and Jerry, in "The Movie"
"No, I'm not riffing. I'm ignoring. Do you understand the difference?"
- Jerry, to his annoying colleague Pat, in "The Movie"
"No, I don't want to go to a mini-plex multi-theater! It's not a theater, it's like a room where they bring in POW's to show them propaganda films."
- Elaine, in "The Movie"
"Men can sit through the most pointless, boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off."
- Elaine, in "The Movie"
"Can I have a medium diet coke?"
"Do you want the medium size or the middle size?"
"What's the difference?"
"Well, we have three sizes - medium, large and jumbo."
"What happened to the small?"
"There is no small. Small's medium."
"What's medium?"
"Medium's large and large is jumbo."
"Okay, give me the large."
"That's medium."
"Right. Can I have a small popcorn?"
"There is no small. Child-size is small."
"What's medium?"
"Do adults ever order the child-size?"
"Not usually."
"Okay, give me the adult."
"Do you want butter?"
"Is it real butter?"
"It's butter flavoring."
"What is it made of?"
"It's yellow."
- Elaine and a woman behind the snack counter, in "The Movie"


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