Seinfeld Quotes...


"When women smile at me I don't know what it means. Sometimes I interpret it like they're psychotic or something. And I don't know if I'm supposed to smile back. I don't know what to do."
- George, in "The Phone Message"
"For me to ask a woman out, I've got to get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks."
- George, in "The Phone Message"
"To cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple because I think if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone, it make you sound casual."
"Yeah, like a farm boy."
- George and Jerry, in "The Phone Message"
"Instead of doing a wash, I just keep buying underwear. My goal is to have over 360 pair. That way I only have to do wash once a year."
- George, in "The Phone Message"
"Women don't want to see need. They want a take-charge guy. A colonel, a kaiser, a czar."
- George, in "The Phone Message"
"I don't know what your parents did to you."
- Elaine, to George, in "The Phone Message"
"It's a machine! The little light is blinking right now, 'Come and listen to the idiot! Hey everybody, the idiot's on!'"
- George, worried about an answering machine, in "The Phone Message"
"I have no patience for lactose. And I won't stand for it."
- Jerry, in "The Phone Message"
"Tippy toe! Tippy toe!"
- George, warning Jerry, in "The Phone Message"
"That what you had to tell me? Your father wears sneakers in the pool?"
- Carol, to George, in "The Phone Message"


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