Seinfeld Quotes...


"Six years I've had this t-shirt. It's my best one. I call him Golden Boy."
- Jerry, in "The Marine Biologist"
"Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For?"
- Jerry, in "The Marine Biologist"
"You can't handle the truth."
- George, imitating Jack Nicholson, in "The Marine Biologist"
"Your mother reads your mail?"
"What do you mean, like postcards?"
"Oh, anything."
"She doesn't open."
"She'll open."
"You've caught your mother opening envelopes?"
"What does she say?"
"I was curious."
"Isn't that against the law?"
"Maybe I can get her locked up."
- Jerry and George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"I've got all my appointments right up here."
- Kramer, who has no need for an organizer, in "The Marine Biologist"
"I am such a huge whale fan."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"Who wants to have some fun?"
- Kramer, who wants to hit golf balls into the ocean, in "The Marine Biologist"
"He's working on lowering the cholesterol level in whales. All that blubber, it's quite unhealthy. You know, it's the largest mammal on earth. But as George says, they don't have to be."
- Jerry, making George look good, in "The Marine Biologist"
"What is that noise? It's traveling up my spine into my brain!"
- Testikov, just before he throws Elaine's electronic organizer out the window of the limousine, in "The Marine Biologist"
"She asked for your number. I think she's going to get in touch with you."
"Okay, I'm telling you right now. If you're kidding around I'm not going to be able to be your friend anymore. I'm serious about that. You got that?"
"I've got no problem with that."
"Good, because if this is a lie, if this is a joke, if this is your idea of some cute little game, we're finished."
"Expect a call."
"Oh my god, he's not kidding."
"Now I should tell you that at this point she's under the impression that you're a..."
"A what?"
"A marine biologist."
- Jerry and George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"I know my alleys."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"Why couldn't you make me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry, at that moment I was a marine biologist."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
- George, in "The Marine Biologist"
"What, are you in a bad mood?"
"I got my laundry back."
"Golden Boy?"
"He didn't make it."
"I'm sorry."
"This is Golden Boy's son, Baby Blue."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Marine Biologist"
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