Seinfeld Quotes...


"Tub is love."
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"Nobody knows what to do. You just close your eyes, you hope for the best. I really think they're happy if you just make an effort."
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"Who's fakin'?"
- Elaine, in "The Mango"
"That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?"
- Jerry, after Elaine told him that she always faked it, in "The Mango"
"They've all been faking..."
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"The woman had an orgasm under false pretenses. That's sexual perjury!"
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"You know, I heard her screaming from my apartment. She woke me up a few times."
- Kramer, admiring Elaine's ability to fake it, in "The Mango"
"I know how to press those buttons, buddy."
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"You know, I faked it."
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"This peach is sub-par."
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"You gotta stand behind your fruit."
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"What am I gonna do for fruit?!"
- Kramer, starting to panic, in "The Mango"
"Give me another shot!"
- Jerry, wanting another chance to make Elaine happy, in "The Mango"
"Fifteen minutes! I can make it happen!"
- Jerry, pleading with Elaine, in "The Mango"
"Oh that Meryl Streep. She's such a phoney baloney!"
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"Can't you tell I'm upset?"
"No, maybe you're faking!"
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Mango"
"They're mysterious little fellows, aren't they?"
- Jerry, in "The Mango"
"If I give you money, would you go out and get me some fruit?"
- Kramer to Jerry, after being barred from the fruit store, in "The Mango"
"They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"I'm gonna make you a fruit list."
- Kramer, after Jerry agrees to go to the fruit store, in "The Mango"
"I like mangoes."
- Kramer, in "The Mango"
"I can't buy mangoes and plantains?"
- Jerry, talking with a suspicious fruit store owner, in "The Mango"
"I've only got hundreds."
- Kramer, asked for change, in "The Mango"
"This is like a taste explosion."
- George, tasting his first mango, in "The Mango"
"Well well, if it isn't the first lady of the American theatre."
- Jerry, to Elaine, in "The Mango"
"Alright, let's go. I'll give ya half an hour."
- Elaine, letting Jerry have another shot, in "The Mango"
"We have to have sex to save the friendship."
- Jerry, in "The Mango"


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