Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE MAID"

"Well, Jerry, I've been thinking. I've gone as far as I can go with George Costanza."

"Is this the suicide talk or the nickname talk?"

"The nickname... George, what is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up."

"You mean like Liza!"

"I was thinking T-Bone."

"But there's no T in your name. What about G-Bone?"

"There's no G-Bone."

"There's a G-Spot."

"That's a myth."

- George and Jerry, in "The Maid"

 

"Are you sure you don't have one, because there's a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen."

"Then maybe you have a fax machine."

"You just blew my mind."

- Kramer and Elaine, in "The Maid"

 

"There's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum."

- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Maid"

 

"Look, I work for the phone company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic."

"You know, I could've killed you and no one would've known."

"I could've killed you and no one would've known."

- Phone repairman and Elaine, in "The Maid"

 

"You're sleeping with the maid?"

"Yes."

"I've done that. Did you ever eat an ostrich burger?"

- George and Jerry, in "The Maid"

 

"Okay everybody, I have an announcement to make. From now on, I will be known as..."

"Koko the monkey."

- George and Kruger, in "The Maid"

 

"What did I just pay for?"

"Uh-oh, you're a John."

- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Maid"

 

"What a nightmare it must be to have a real family."

- Elaine, in "The Maid"

 

"What street are you on?"

"I'm on First and First. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

- Jerry and a lost Kramer, in "The Maid"

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