Seinfeld Quotes...


"Well, Jerry, I've been thinking. I've gone as far as I can go with George Costanza."
"Is this the suicide talk or the nickname talk?"
"The nickname... George, what is that? It's nothing. It's got no snap, no zip. I need a nickname that makes people light up."
"You mean like Liza!"
"I was thinking T-Bone."
"But there's no T in your name. What about G-Bone?"
"There's no G-Bone."
"There's a G-Spot."
"That's a myth."
- George and Jerry, in "The Maid"
"Are you sure you don't have one, because there's a lot of stuff in my apartment I've never seen."
"Then maybe you have a fax machine."
"You just blew my mind."
- Kramer and Elaine, in "The Maid"
"There's nothing more sophisticated than diddling the maid and then chewing some gum."
- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Maid"
"Look, I work for the phone company. I've had a lot of experience with semantics, so don't try to lure me into some maze of circular logic."
"You know, I could've killed you and no one would've known."
"I could've killed you and no one would've known."
- Phone repairman and Elaine, in "The Maid"
"You're sleeping with the maid?"
"I've done that. Did you ever eat an ostrich burger?"
- George and Jerry, in "The Maid"
"Okay everybody, I have an announcement to make. From now on, I will be known as..."
"Koko the monkey."
- George and Kruger, in "The Maid"
"What did I just pay for?"
"Uh-oh, you're a John."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Maid"
"What a nightmare it must be to have a real family."
- Elaine, in "The Maid"
"What street are you on?"
"I'm on First and First. How can the same street intersect with itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"
- Jerry and a lost Kramer, in "The Maid"


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