Seinfeld Quotes...


"I'm not a terrible person."
"No, when I shoo squirrels away, I always say 'Get out of here." I never ever throw things at them and try to injure them like other people."
"That's nice."
"Yeah, and when I see freaks in the street, I never ever stare at them, and yet I'm careful not to look away, see, because I want to make the freaks feel comfortable."
"That's nice for the freaks."
"Yeah, and I don't poof up my hair when I go to the movies so people can see."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Lip Reader"
"You want to be a ball man? Go ahead and break the ball barrier."
- Jerry, to Kramer, in "The Lip Reader"
"It's not you, it's me.... You're giving me the 'It's not you, it's me' routine? I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me."
"Alright, George, it's you."
"You're damn right it's me."
"Look, I was just trying to...."
"I know what you were trying to do. Nobody does it better than me."
"Well I'm sure you do it very well."
"Yes, well, unfortunately you'll never get the chance to find out."
- George and Gwen, breaking up, in "The Lip Reader"
"So she sees you with hot fudge on your face and she ends it? Do you really think she'd be that superficial?"
"Why not? I would be."
- Jerry and George, in "The Lip Reader"
"How about six? Six is good. You got a problem with six?"
- Jerry, to a confused lip reader, in "The Lip Reader"
"Hey pops, isn't there a better way to spend your twilight years?"
"I may be old, but I'm spry."
- A ball boy and Kramer, in "The Lip Reader"
"You remember this: When you control the mail, you control information!"
- Newman, in "The Lip Reader"
"She doesn't know what she's talking about!"
- Kramer, who uses his own special kind of sign language, in "The Lip Reader"
"Thus ends the great ball man experiment."
- Jerry, after Kramer tackles Monica Seles, in "The Lip Reader"
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