Seinfeld Quotes...


" 'Fax me some halibut.' Is that funny? Is that a joke?"
- Jerry, trying to read his scribbled note, in "The Heart Attack"
"Why can't I have a heart attack? I'm allowed."
- George, in "The Heart Attack"
"Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body."
- Jerry, in "The Heart Attack"
"Boy, they've got a great cafeteria downstairs. Hot food, sandwiches, a salad bar. It's like a Sizzler's opened up a hospital!"
- Kramer, in "The Heart Attack"
"You could do your taxes in the time it takes me to have an orgasm."
- George, in "The Heart Attack"
"Couchgrass and crampbark? You know, I think that's what killed Curly."
- Jerry, at the holistic healer, in "The Heart Attack"
"A kiss? With the tongue? The glossa with the bumps and the papillae? Yuck, I don't think so."
- Elaine, in "The Heart Attack"
"That's it! Flaming globes of Sigmond! Flaming globes of Sigmond! That's my note! That's what I thought was so funny? That's not funny. There's nothing funny about that."
- Jerry, in "The Heart Attack"


Back to the Index