Seinfeld Quotes...


"I never tasted a cough medicine I didn't love."
- George, in "The Hamptons"
"Hey, Jerry, rub some lotion on my back."
"Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?"
"C'mon, and I'll rub some on you."
"That's not sweetening the deal."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"
"This is weird, wild stuff. George hasn't even seen her yet."
"Why do you think we're getting the sneak preview?"
"Maybe she's trying to create a buzz."
"You know, get some good word of mouth going."
- Jerry, Elaine and Kramer, observing observing a topless Jane, in "The Hamptons"
"Is it me, or was that the ugliest baby you have ever seen?"
"I couldn't look. It was like a Pekinese."
"Boy, a little too much chlorine in that gene pool."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Hamptons"
"The train was so crowded, I had to sit in a seat facing the wrong way."
"Oh, I like that. It's like going back in time."
- Rachel and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"
"She's got greeting problems."
- Jerry, about Rachel, in "The Hamptons"
"I saw Jane topless."
"You saw who what?"
- Kramer and George, in "The Hamptons"
"It's like I'm Neil Armstrong. I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!"
- George, upset that Jerry saw Jane topless before him, in "The Hamptons"
"I was in the pool! I was in the pool!"
- George, after Rachel saw him naked, in "The Hamptons"
"Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but..."
"But what?"
"Well, I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold..."
"Oh, you mean... Shrinkage."
"Yes. Significant shrinkage."
"So you feel you were shortchanged."
"Yes. I mean, if she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me."
- George and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"
"Do women know about shrinkage?"
"What do you mean, like laundry?"
"Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..."
"It shrinks?"
"Like a frightened turtle."
"Why does it shrink?"
"It just does."
"I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
- George, Elaine and Jerry, in "The Hamptons"
"I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be... And more!"
"I'm sure it is."
"Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage."
- George and Jane, in "The Hamptons"
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