Seinfeld Quotes...


"Well, a lot of people consider me small and prestigious."
- George, in "The Barber"
"I enjoy understanding."
- George, in "The Barber"
"I could raise enough money to cure polio."
- Kramer, discussing a charity bachelor auction, in "The Barber"
"You tell-a the joke, I cut-a the hair."
- Enzo, to Jerry, in "The Barber"
"You look like you're five years old."
- George, seeing the results of Jerry's bad haircut, in "The Barber"
"I still haven't heard about that job."
"Yeah, that's a tough one. What are you gonna do about that?"
"I have an idea."
"I show up."
"Whattya mean, you show up?"
"I show up! I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation. If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back I'm ensconced."
"Hmmmmm.... Not bad."
"What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs."
"Yeah, so?"
"Yeah, I see what you mean. I forgot who I was dealing with."
- George and Jerry, in "The Barber"
"Yes, I like to feel cozy. You know, I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled."
- George, in "The Barber"
"So what do you do there all day?"
"They gave me the Pensky file."
- Jerry and George, in "The Barber"
"I'd like to have shoehorn hands."
- Kramer, in "The Barber"
"Boy, you got a beautiful head of hair!"
"Oh, thank you."
"I'll bet Uncle Enzo, he tell-a you that all-a the time!"
"Well, actually, Enzo hasn't said that to me in awhile."
- Gino and Jerry, in "The Barber"
"Look at him! He's grotesque!"
"You think?"
"Do I think? He's repugnant!"
- Kramer and Elaine, discussing Jerry, in "The Barber"
"I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it."
- Newman, in "The Barber"
"In college they used to call me 'The Little Bulldog'."
- George, in "The Barber"
"Flush twice!"
- Jerry, to Newman, who wants to use the bathroom, in "The Barber"
"He likes fruit, and uh, he just got a haircut."
- Elaine, auctioning off Kramer, in "The Barber"
"You haven't done anything with this."
"Well, bear in mind, I am in the smaller office."
- Tuttle and George, in "The Barber"
"Ta ta, Tut-tel."
- George, in "The Barber"


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