Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE BARBER"

"Well, a lot of people consider me small and prestigious."

- George, in "The Barber"

 

"I enjoy understanding."

- George, in "The Barber"

 

"I could raise enough money to cure polio."

- Kramer, discussing a charity bachelor auction, in "The Barber"

 

"You tell-a the joke, I cut-a the hair."

- Enzo, to Jerry, in "The Barber"

 

"You look like you're five years old."

- George, seeing the results of Jerry's bad haircut, in "The Barber"

 

"I still haven't heard about that job."

"Yeah, that's a tough one. What are you gonna do about that?"

"I have an idea."

"Yeah?"

"I show up."

"Whattya mean, you show up?"

"I show up! I pretend I have the job. The guy's on vacation. If I have the job, it's fine. If I don't have the job, by the time he comes back I'm ensconced."

"Hmmmmm.... Not bad."

"What's the worst thing that could happen?"

"Well, you'd be embarrassed and humiliated in front of a large group of people and have to walk out in shame with your tail between your legs."

"Yeah, so?"

"Yeah, I see what you mean. I forgot who I was dealing with."

- George and Jerry, in "The Barber"

 

"Yes, I like to feel cozy. You know, I have a very small apartment. I like to feel tucked in, nestled in. Love to be nestled."

- George, in "The Barber"

 

"So what do you do there all day?"

"They gave me the Pensky file."

- Jerry and George, in "The Barber"

 

"I'd like to have shoehorn hands."

- Kramer, in "The Barber"

 

"Boy, you got a beautiful head of hair!"

"Oh, thank you."

"I'll bet Uncle Enzo, he tell-a you that all-a the time!"

"Well, actually, Enzo hasn't said that to me in awhile."

- Gino and Jerry, in "The Barber"

 

"Look at him! He's grotesque!"

"You think?"

"Do I think? He's repugnant!"

- Kramer and Elaine, discussing Jerry, in "The Barber"

 

"I almost went to barber school. I always felt I had a talent for it."

- Newman, in "The Barber"

 

"In college they used to call me 'The Little Bulldog'."

- George, in "The Barber"

 

"Flush twice!"

- Jerry, to Newman, who wants to use the bathroom, in "The Barber"

 

"He likes fruit, and uh, he just got a haircut."

- Elaine, auctioning off Kramer, in "The Barber"

 

"You haven't done anything with this."

"Well, bear in mind, I am in the smaller office."

- Tuttle and George, in "The Barber"

 

"Ta ta, Tut-tel."

- George, in "The Barber"

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