Seinfeld Quotes...


"Hey buddy, where's my thank you wave?!"
- Jerry, after letting a car merge in front of him, in "The Good Samaritan"
"I'm speechless. Speechless! I have no speech."
- George, in "The Good Samaritan"
"You know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia."
- Kramer, about hit-and-run drivers, in "The Good Samaritan"
"I don't think I'm special. My mother always said I'm not special."
- George, in "The Good Samaritan"
"I said 'God bless you.' Was that so wrong?"
"The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his 'God bless you,' because as the husband he has the right to first refusal."
"Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this. Once he passes on that option, that 'God bless you' is up for grabs."
"No argument. Unless she's one of these multiple sneezers and he's holding his 'God bless you' in abeyance until she completes the series."
"Well, I don't think she is a multiple sneezer, because she sneezed again later and it was also a single."
"What if she's having an off night?"
- George and Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
"If you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say 'God bless you.' You should say 'You're so good looking!'"
- Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
"Oh my god. An affair. It's so adult. It's like with stockings and martinis and William Holden. On the other hand, it probably wouldn't cost me any money."
- George, in "The Good Samaritan"
"I actually owe it to society to do something about this. I can't sit by and allow this to go on. It's a moral issue is what it is."
"You can't compromise your principles."
"How am I going to live with myself?"
"Can't live."
"I'm not religious but I certainly know where to draw the line."
"This country needs more people like you."
"Don't sell yourself short saying 'God bless you' to every Tom, Dick and Harry at great personal risk."
"I believe strongly in that as you know."
"There should be more people like us."
"That's why the world's in the shape that it's in."
- Jerry and George, in "The Good Samaritan"
"You tell anybody anything and I will carve my initials in your brain dish. I'll bash your skull into a vegematic like a bad cabbage, and I'll have a party on your head."
- Angela, to Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
"I'll pluck all your body hairs out with my teeth."
- Angela, making one more threat to Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
"How hard is it to lie?"
"It's not that hard."
- George and Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
"Well, I'm happy to help in any way that I can."
- Jerry, in "The Good Samaritan"
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