Seinfeld Quotes...


"It's hard enough to meet a woman you dislike, much less like."
- George, in "The Fix-Up"
"Are my nostrils getting bigger?"
- Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"I don't want hope. Hope is killing me. My dream is to become hopeless. When you're hopeless you don't care. And when you don't care, that indifference makes you attractive."
"So, hopelessness is the key?"
"It's my only hope."
- George and Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"Order me a piece of cake. I'm gonna go throw up."
- Cynthia, in "The Fix-Up"
"Your standards are too high."
"I went out with you."
"That's because my standards are too low."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"What am I, a hooker?"
- Elaine, in "The Fix-Up"
"You wouldn't know it to look at him, but George can bait a hook."
- Jerry, in "The Fix-Up"
"I like flowing, cascading hair. Thick, lustrous hair is important to me."
- George, in "The Fix-Up"
"Can't you two see... that you're in LOVE with each other?"
- Kramer, breaking up Jerry and Elaine's fight, in "The Fix-Up"
"The next one of you that opens up your mouth and says something, you're gonna have to deal with me!"
- Kramer, breaking up a fight between Jerry and George, in "The Fix-Up"
"I was just trying to help your bitter, twisted friend."
"She's not bitter."
"Well, bitter's a judgement call, but she's twisted."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Fix-Up"
"My boys can swim!"
- George, learning that he might be a father, in "The Fix-Up"


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