Seinfeld Quotes...


"If you are thinking of instituting an open-door urination policy, let me disabuse you of that notion right now my friend."
""You're so uptight."
"Uptight. Let's all just have a big pee party. Hey everybody, grab a bucket, we're going up to Jerry's. It's a pee party!"
- Jerry and George, in "The Finale"
"If he says he doesn't want it to be a show about nothing, don't go nuts."
"It's fine. It doesn't have to be about nothing."
"He might not want nothing."
"Something, nothing, I could care less."
"He might want a show about anything and everything."
"Anything, everything, something, nothing. Who the hell cares? Put me down. I'm down!"
- Jerry and George, waiting to talk to NBC executives, in "The Finale"
"I don't need any ideas. It's a show about nothing."
"Nothing, please. I'll tell you the truth. The whole thing sounds pretty stupid to me."
- George and Estelle, in "The Finale"
"Jerry, it's L.A.! Nobody leaves. She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a whore!"
- Kramer, in "The Finale"
"Hear me, and hear me well. The day will come. Oh yes! Mark my words, Seinfeld. Your day of reckoning is coming, when an evil wind will blow through your little play world and wipe that smug smile off your face. And I'll be there, in all my glory, watching, watching as it all comes crumbling down."
- Newman, in "The Finale"
"Why would we want to help somebody? That's what nuns and Red Cross workers are for."
- George, in "The Finale"
"Perhaps these hooligans would like to have a pee party right here in the courtroom!"
- The Prosecutor, in "The Finale"
"But they did not care. They're totally indifferent. All they do is mock me, just like they did the fat fellow. All the time, mocking, mocking, mocking, mocking, all the time. It is Babu's turn to mock."
- Babu, in "The Finale"
"I don't know how, or under what circumstances, the four of you found each other, but your callous indifference and utter disregard for everything that is good and decent has rocked the very foundation upon which our society is built."
- Judge Art Vandelay, in "The Finale"
"The second button is the key button. It literally makes or breaks the shirt. Look at it. It's too high. It's in no-man's land."
"Haven't we had this conversation before?"
"You think?"
"I think we have."
"Yeah, maybe we have."
- Jerry and George, in "The Finale"*

*See also: "Good News, Bad News"

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