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Seinfeld Quotes... |
"THE
EX-GIRLFRIEND"
- "Look, do I have to break up with her in
person? Can't I do it over the phone? I have no stomach
for these things."
- "You should just do it like a Band-Aid. One
motion, right off!"
- - George
and Jerry, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "A relationship is an organism. You created
this thing and then you starved it, so it turned against
you. Same thing happened to the Blob."
- - Jerry,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "I only eat cantaloupe at certain times."
- - Jerry,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "I don't return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I
know that going in."
- - Jerry,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "It's like I was making a prison break, you
know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I
twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you
know. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep
running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me
from the guard tower: 'Son of a bang! Son of a boom!' I
get to the top of the wall, the front door. I opened it
up, I'm one foot away. I took one last look around the
penitentiary, and I jumped!"
- - George,
describing his break-up to Jerry, in "The
Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "What is this obsession people have with
books? They put them in their houses like they're
trophies. What do you need it for after you read it?"
- - Jerry,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "I hate the little room."
- - George,
at the doctor's office, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he
says."
- "Oh, no, no, no. I pay what I
say."
- - Jerry
and George, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "The apartment elevators are always slower
than the offices, because you don't have to be home on
time."
- - Jerry,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "I think I swallowed a fly! I swallowed a
fly! What do I do? What can happen?"
- - George,
in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
-
- "I guess things changed for me on Tuesday
night."
- "Tuesday night? What happened
Tuesday night?"
- "I saw your act."
- "My act? What does that have to
do with anything?"
- "Well, to be honest, it just
didn't make it for me. It's just so much fluff."
- "I can't believe this. So what
are you saying? You didn't like my act, so that's
it?"
- "I can't be with someone if I
don't respect what they do."
- "You're a cashier!"
- "Look, Jerry, it's just not my
kind of humor."
- "You can't go by the audience
that night. It was late. They were terrible."
- "I heard the material."
- "I have other stuff. You should
come see me on the weekend."
- - Marlene
and Jerry, in "The Ex-Girlfriend"
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