Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE ENGAGEMENT"

"I'll tell you what your problem is... You brought your queen out too fast. What do you think, she's one of these feminists looking to get out of the house? Nah, the queen is old-fashioned, likes to stay home, cook, take care of her man, make sure he feels good."

- George, playing chess, in "The Engagement"

 

"I'm much more comfortable criticizing people behind their backs."

- George, in "The Engagement"

 

"What is this? What are we doing? What in God's name are we doing?"

"What?"

"Our lives! What kind of lives are these? We're like children. We're not men."

"No we're not. We're not men."

"We come up with all these stupid little reasons to break up with these women."

"I know, I know! That's what I do. That's what I do!"

"Are we going to be sitting here when we're sixty like two idiots?"

"We should be having dinner with our sons when we're sixty."

"We're pathetic, you know that?"

"Yeah, like I don't know that I'm pathetic."

"Why can't I be normal?"

"Yes! Me too! I want to be normal. Normal!"

"It would be nice to care about someone."

"Yes! Yes! Care!"

- Jerry and George, in "The Engagement"

 

"I had a very interesting lunch with George Costanza today."

"Really?"

"We were talking about our lives, and we both kind of realized we're kids. We're not men."

"So then you asked yourselves, 'Isn't there something more to life?'"

"Yes, we did."

"Yeah, well let me clue you in on something... There isn't."

"There isn't?"

"Absolutely not. I mean, what are you thinking about, Jerry, marriage? Family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons. You're doing time. You get up in the morning, she's there. You go to sleep at night, she's there. It's like you gotta ask permission to use the bathroom. 'Is it alright if I use the bathroom now?!' And you can forget about watching TV while you're eating."

"I can?"

"Oh yeah. You know why? Because it's dinnertime, and you know what you do at dinner?"

"What?"

"You talk about your day. 'How was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it? Well, I don't know, how about you, how was your day?'"

"Boy."

"It's sad, Jerry. It's a sad state of affairs."

"I'm glad we had this talk."

"Oh, you have no idea."

- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Engagement"

 

"What if there should be an unfortunate accident?"

"You're going to rub out the dog?!"

- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Engagement"

 

"Frank, come here!"

"You come here."

"Georgie's getting married!"

"What?"

"Georgie's getting married!!"

"Get the hell outta here. He's getting married?"

"Yes."

"To a woman?"

- Estelle and Frank Costanza, in "The Engagement"

 

"And she said yes?"

"Well, it took a couple hours of convincing, but I was persistent."

- Jerry and George, who asked Susan to marry him, in "The Engagement"

Back to the Index