Seinfeld Quotes...


"You have any pets?"
"Just my next-door neighbor."
- Gavin and Jerry, in "The Dog"
"I'm telling you, the guy's a drunk. He's probably on a bender."
"What is a bender anyhow?"
"I don't know. They drink and they bend things at the bar."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Dog"
"Two-hundred seats on a plane and I gotta wind up next to Yukon Jack and his dog Cujo!"
- Jerry, in "The Dog"
"Shut up! One more day and you are pound bound!"
- Jerry, to Farfel the dog, in "The Dog"
"You're breaking up?"
"Oh yeah! The sooner the better. I can't wait to do it. You know how there's some people you worry about whether or not you're gonna hurt their feelings? With her, I'm looking forward to it. Boy, I'd like to get it on video. Watch it in slow motion and freeze frame it!"
- Kramer, in "The Dog"
"I relate to George through you. We're more like friends-in-law."
- Elaine, to Jerry, in "The Dog"
"I must've been out of my mind! Look at you. Why don't you do something with your life? You sit around here all day. You contribute nothing to society. You're just taking up space. How could I be with someone like you? I wouldn't respect myself."
- Kramer, to Ellen, in "The Dog"
"That's it Farfel. Party's over! Start packing up your little squeeze toys, buddy boy. You're checking out!"
- Jerry, in "The Dog"
"Jerry, do you know what they do to dogs at the pound? They keep them for a week and then if no one claims them, they kill 'em."
"Really? How late are they open?"
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Dog"
"I believe I referred to her personality as a potential science exhibit."
- Elaine, about Ellen, in "The Dog"
"Isn't it more fun using the urinal?"
- George, to Jerry, in "The Dog"
"I could read the sports section if my hair was on fire."
- Jerry, in "The Dog"
"You'd better pick up your dog tonight or he has humped his last leg!"
- Elaine, to Gavin, in "The Dog"
"I wanted to talk about how we had nothing to talk about."
- Elaine, about George, in "The Dog"
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