Seinfeld Quotes...


"Do you believe I got Happy New Year'd today? It's February!"
"I once got Happy New Year'd in March."
"It's disgusting."
"It's pathetic."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"
"It's Goretex. You know about Goretex?"
"You like saying 'Goretex', don't you?"
- George, showing off his new coat, and Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"
"The fabric of society is very complex, George."
- Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"
"I don't even drink wine. I drink Pepsi."
"You can't bring Pepsi."
"Why not?"
"Because we're adults."
"You're telling me that wine is better than Pepsi? No way wine is better than Pepsi."
"I'll tell ya, George, I don't think we want to walk in there and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi in the middle of the table."
"I just don't like the idea that any time there's a dinner invitation, there's this annoying little chore that goes along with it."
"You know, you're getting to be an annoying little chore yourself."
- George, Elaine and Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"
"You're pretty comfortable up there, huh Bubble Boy?"
- Jerry, to George, in "The Dinner Party"
"Ooooo, I like Ring Dings."
- Kramer, in "The Dinner Party"
"You can't show up at someone's house with Ring Dings and Pepsi."
- Elaine, in "The Dinner Party"
"Oh look Elaine, the black and white cookie. I love the black and white. Two races of flavor living side by side in harmony. It's a wonderful thing, isn't it?"
"You know, I often wonder what you'll be like when you're senile."
"I'm looking forward to it."
"Yeah, I think it'll be a very smooth transition for you."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Dinner Party"
"I don't like to carry my wallet. My osteopath says that it's bad for my spine. Throws my hips off kilter."
- Kramer, in "The Dinner Party"
"You can't beat a babka."
- Elaine, at the bakery, in "The Dinner Party"
"You'd better be careful with that thing. You'll start a war."
- Kramer, after George bumps someone with his coat, in "The Dinner Party"
"The key to eating a black and white cookie, Elaine, is you want to get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet, still, somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie. All our problems would be solved."
- Jerry, in "The Dinner Party"
"Nobody takes better care of their hair than me. You can serve dinner on my head."
- Elaine, in "The Dinner Party"
"I really cannot comprehend how stupid people can be sometimes. Can you comprehend it?"
"No, I can't comprehend it."
"I mean, we can put a man on the moon but we're still basically very stupid. The guy who's car this is, he could be one of the guys that built the rocket. You see what I'm saying?"
"Well, yeah, he can build the rocket, but he's still stupid for double-parking and blocking somebody in."
"So you really understand my point about building the rocket and double-parking?"
"On the one hand he's smart with rockets and on the other hand he's dumb with parking."
- George and Kramer in "The Dinner Party"
"Yeah, you want to trade your hair for some phlegm."
- Jerry, trying to get a better babka, in "The Dinner Party"
"I'm a little scared of her."
- George, talking about Elaine, in "The Dinner Party"
"Fourteen years, down the drain."
- Jerry, about to throw up, in "The Dinner Party"
"How was it?"
"Good as it gets."
- Elaine and Jerry, after he throws up, in "The Dinner Party"
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