Seinfeld Quotes...


"What was that look?"
"What look?"
"The look you just gave me."
"I gave a look?"
"What kind of look?"
"I know that look."
"Then what was it?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"Well, you're the big look expert. I wanna see how smart you are."
"Trust me, I know the look."
- Elaine and Jerry, in "The Deal"
"I mean, really, what is the big deal? We go in there. We're in there for a while. We come right back out here. It's not complicated."
"It's almost stupid if we didn't."
"It's moronic."
- Jerry and Elaine, contemplating a new sexual relationship, in "The Deal"
"Sometimes when people get involved with that, they feel pressure to sleep over. When that is not really sleep. Sleep is separate from that. And I don't see why sleep got all tied up and connected with that."
- Jerry, in "The Deal"
"I slept with Elaine last night."
"Oxygen! I need some oxygen! This is major!"
- Jerry and George, in "The Deal"
"You ask me to have lunch, tell me you slept with Elaine, and then say you're not in the mood for details. Now you listen to me. I want details and I want them right now. I don't have a job, I have no place to go. You're not in the mood? Well you get in the mood!"
- George, to Jerry, in "The Deal"
"That's why I don't have cable in my house. Because of that naked station. If I had that in my house, I would never turn it off. I wouldn't sleep, I wouldn't eat. Eventually, firemen would have to break through the door. They'd find me sitting there in my pajamas with drool coming down my face."
- George, in "The Deal"
"It pains me to say this, but I may be getting too mature for details."
- Jerry, in "The Deal"
"Where are you living? Are you here? Are you on this planet? It's impossible. It can't be done. Thousands of years people have been trying to have their cake and eat it too. So all of a sudden the two of you are going to come along and do it. Where do you get the ego? No one can do it. It can't be done."
- George, to Jerry, in "The Deal"
"I know less about women than anyone in the world. But one thing I do know is they're not happy if you don't spend the night. It could be a hot, sweaty room with no air conditioning and all they have is a little army cot this wide... You're not going anywhere."
- George, in "The Deal"
"I'm in a very delicate position. Whatever I give her, she's going to be bringing in experts from all over the country to interpret the meaning behind it."
- Jerry, about Elaine, in "The Deal"
"What about candle holders?"
"Too romantic."
"Too sexual."
"Waffle maker?"
"Too domestic."
"Bust of Nelson Rockefeller?"
"Too gubernatorial."
- George and Jerry, looking for a gift for Elaine, in "The Deal"
"Who are you, my uncle?"
- Elaine, to Jerry after he gives her cash for her birthday, in "The Deal"
"No this. No that. No this or that. Oh boy, what do you want?"
"This, that, and the other."
"Oh, sure. Of course, you're entitled. Who doesn't want this, that, and the other?"
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Deal"
"What is it about sex that just disrupts everything? Is it the touching? Is it the nudity?"
"It can't be the nudity. I never got into these terrible fights and misunderstandings when I was changing before gym class."
- George and Jerry, in "The Deal"


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