Seinfeld Quotes...

"THE CONTEST"


"You'll be out before we get the check!"
- Jerry, to Kramer, who wants in on "The Contest"
 
"Hey, lemme ask you a question -- in these nudist colonies, do they eat naked in the dining room?"
"I would imagine it's all naked."
"What about the chambermaids, are they naked too?"
"They're naked. The gardener's naked. Bellhops. It's one big Nude-O-Rama."
- Jerry and George, in "The Contest"
 
"Too bad you couldn't do *that* for a living... You'd be very successful at it. You could sell out Madison Square Garden. Thousands of people could watch you. You could be a big star!"
- George's mother, chastising her son for treating his body like "an amusement park," in "The Contest"
 
"Yeah... butt... butt... Great butt... John John's butt..."
- Elaine, almost speechless after finding out that John F. Kennedy Jr. will be in
her aerobics class, in "The Contest"
 
"Good night. Not just a good night... a *great* night!"
- Jerry to Marla, in "The Contest"
 
"Are you Master of your Domain?"
"I am King of the County. You?"
"Lord of the Manor."
"I'm Queen of the castle!"
- Jerry, George and Elaine, in "The Contest"
 
"So, you're still Master of your Domain?"
"Yes, yes I am. Master of my domain. But I will tell you this: I'm going over to her apartment and I'm tellin' her to put those shades down!"
"Wait, wait wait... Whoa, whoa whoa-- what did you just say?"
"I can't take it any more! She's drivin' me crazy. I can't sleep, I can't leave the house. When I'm here I'm climbin' the walls. Meanwhile I'm datin' a virgin, I'm in this contest... something's gotta give!"
"Do you hear what you're saying? Can you hear it? This is a beautiful woman walking around naked, and you want to tell her to stop!? That's the *dumbest* thing I ever heard. I mean, it's incomprehens-- I'm not gonna let you do it!"
"Well, I'm doin' it. Get out of my way..."
"No, you can't! This is something that comes about once in a lifetime. When we were boys looking through our bedroom windows we would think, 'Why can't there be a woman out there taking her clothes off?' And now that wish has come true and you want to... pfffft... throw it away?!"
- Kramer and Jerry, fighting over the woman across the street, in "The Contest"
 
"Okay, you tryin' to hurt me? You tryin' to hurt me? You're tryin 'to injure me, right? You're tryin to hurt me..."
- Elaine, who can't believe that JFK Jr. is interested in her, in "The Contest"
 
"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round..."
"The woman across the block has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on..."
"The washers on the bus go woosh woosh woosh, woosh woosh woosh..."
"The woman across the block has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on..."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Contest"
 
"Where did you get those socks?!"
"I dunno..."
"I think those are *my* socks!"
"How are these *your* socks?"
"I dunno, but those are *my* socks! I had a pair just like that with the blue stripe and now I don't *have* them anymore!"
"Oh yeah, that's right, you fell asleep one day on the sofa and I took them off your stinkin' feet, they looked so good to me, I just had to have 'em!!!
"Yeah, well, they're *MY SOCKS*!"
"They're my socks!!!"
- George and Jerry, in "The Contest"
 
"You caved?!"
"It's over!?!"
"You're out?!?"
"Oh my God, the Queen is dead!"
"I figured you'd cruise, at least through the spring..."
- George and Jerry, reacting with shock at the news that Elaine has dropped out of "The Contest"
 
"Elaine... Benes... Kennedy... Junior..."
- Elaine, fantasizing about marrying JFK Jr., in "The Contest"

 

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