Seinfeld Quotes...


"I am never putting on another piece of clothing unless it's straight out of the dryer."
- Kramer, in "The Calzone"
"I'm like a drug dealer. I got the guy hooked. I'm having lunch at his desk every day this week... just him and me. He doesn't make a move without me."
- George, about George Steinbrenner's love of the calzone, in "The Calzone"
"Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."
"She's like a beautiful Godzilla."
"And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!"
- George and Jerry, in "The Calzone"
"You've got your shirt in my oven?"
"Well, I didn't have enough quarters for the dryer, but this is better anyway. And it's more convenient."
"Oh, for both of us."
"Yeah, and I have a lot more control. I got a shirt going for ten minutes at 325."
"What's wrong with your oven?"
"I'm baking a pie."
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Calzone"
"He fires people like it's a bodily function."
- George, about George Steinbrenner, in "The Calzone"
"Let me be perfectly blunt. I don't care for you, Costanza. You hang out on the west side of the building with Seinfeld all day laughing it up, wasting your lives."
- Newman, in "The Calzone"
"These are terrible."
"It's like trying to smoke a chicken bone."
- Elaine and Jerry, smoking bad Peruvian cigars, in "The Calzone"


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