Seinfeld Quotes...


"I feel like an out-of-work porn star."
- George, commenting on his mustache, in "The Butter Shave"
"Boy, a month in Europe with Elaine. That guy's coming home in a body bag."
- Kramer, in "The Butter Shave"
"Wait a minute. Do I have to ask?"
"Well, I ran out of butter, so I had to borrow yours. Anything else, Mr. Nosey?"
"Why are you buttering your face?"
"I'm shaving with it."
"Oh, Moses smell the roses!"
- Jerry and Kramer, in "The Butter Shave"
"You know how hard it's getting just to tell people I know you?"
- Jerry, to George, in "The Butter Shave"
"I love that bathroom. It's got that high-high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building."
- George, in "The Butter Shave"
"You know, old friend, sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us, and I say 'why?'. Are we really so different..."
"I'm not the one doing the cooking, Newman."
"Damn you Seinfeld. You're a useless pustule."
- Newman and Jerry, in "The Butter Shave"
"Oh man, I think I cooked myself."
- Kramer, in "The Butter Shave"
"I'm fried."
"Technically, you're sauteed. So what are you doing for that?"
"I just gotta keep my skin moist so I don't dry out."
"Is that what the doctor said?"
"I read an article in Bon Apetit Magazine."
- Kramer and Jerry, in "The Butter Shave"
Back to the Index