Seinfeld Quotes...


"I had 'em Jerry. They loved me."
"And then?"
"I lost 'em. I can usually come up with one good comment during a meeting, but by the end it's buried under a pile of gaffes and bad puns."
"Showmanship, George. When you hit that high note, say goodnight and walk off."
- George and Jerry, in "The Burning"
"You prefer dumb and lazy to religious?"
"Dumb and lazy I understand."
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Burning"
"Bacterial meningitis... Jackpot!"
"Gonnorhea? You wanna trade?"
"Sorry buddy, this is the Hamlet of diseases. Severe pain, nausea, delusions... It's got everything."
- Mickey and Kramer, in "The Burning"
"I'm against all 'It's me's'. It's so self-absorbed and egotistical, like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes."
- George, in "The Burning"
"Alright, that's it for me! Be good everybody!"
- George, going out on a high note, in "The Burning"
"I'm going to make people feel my gonnorhea."
- Kramer, in "The Burning"
"Pull the old switcheroo."
"I think that's 'What's good for the goose is good for the gander.'"
"What the hell is a gander anyway?"
"It's a goose that's had the old switcheroo pulled on her."
- George and Jerry, in "The Burning"
"Is it a problem that I'm not really religious?"
"Not for me."
"Why not?"
"I'm not the one going to hell."
- Elaine and Puddy, in "The Burning"
"My boyfriend said I got gonnorhea from riding the tractor in my bathing suit."
- Sophie, in "The Burning"
"Don't you even care? This is your company. It's your name on the outside of the building. Speaking of which, the R fell off and all it says now is K-UGER."
"K-UGER. That sounds like one of those old time car horns, huh? K-UGER! K-UGER!"
"You are too much, Mr. Kruger. Too much!"
"Thank you George, you've been great. That's it for me!"
"What? No, no, you're not going out on a high note with me, Mr. Kruger."
"It's K-UGER!"
- George and Mr. Kruger, in "The Burning"
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