Seinfeld Quotes...


"I have to dribble. If I give it to you, you just shoot. You're a chucker."
"Oh, I'm a chucker."
"That's right, everytime you get the ball you shoot."
"I can't believe you called me a chucker. No way I'm a chucker. I do not chuck, never chucked, never have chucked, never will chuck, no chuck!"
- Jerry, in "The Boyfriend"
"I snuck a peak."
- Kramer, to Jerry and George, after they showered at the gym, in "The Boyfriend"
"I made a conscious effort not to look. There's certain information I just don't want to have."
- Jerry, in "The Boyfriend"
"I'd love to be a Civil War buff. What do you have to do to be a buff?"
"So Biff wants to be a buff? Well, sleeping less than eighteen hours a day would be a start."
- George and Jerry, in "The Boyfriend"
"Jerry, he's a guy."
- Elaine to Jerry, who is concerned about making a good impression on his new friend Keith Hernandez, in "The Boyfriend"
"I got a gum guy!"
- George, to unemployment office worker, in "The Boyfriend"
"You've got to see the baby! When are you going to see the baby? Can't they just send us a tape?"
- Elaine, in "The Boyfriend"
"Something happened that changed us in a deep and profound way from that day forward."
- Newman, in "The Boyfriend"
"That must've been one magic loogie."
- Jerry, during a reenactment of the spitting incident with Kramer and
Newman, in "The Boyfriend"
"I'm Vandelay Industries?"
"And what is that?"
"You're in latex."
"Latex? And what do I do with latex?"
"You manufacture it."
- Jerry and George, in "The Boyfriend"
"What kind of a shake does he have?"
"Good shake. Perfect shake. Single pump, not too hard. You know, doesn't
have to prove anything, but, you know, firm enough to know he was there.
- George and Jerry, talking about Keith Hernandez, in "The Boyfriend"
"Vandelay Industries, Kel Varnsen speaking. May we help you?"
- Jerry, in "The Boyfriend"
"Vandelay! Say Vandelay!"
- George, running from the bathroom after Kramer answers Jerry's phone, in "The Boyfriend"
"And you want to be my latex salesman."
- Jerry, to George, in "The Boyfriend"
"Elaine, you don't know the first thing about first base."
"Well, I know something about getting to first base. And I know you'll never be there."
"The way I figure it I've already been there, and I plan on rounding second tonight at around eleven o'clock."
"Well, uh, I'd watch the third base coach if I were you because I don't think he's waving you in."
- Keith and Elaine, in "The Boyfriend"
"I would really like to have sex with a tall woman."
- George, in "The Boyfriend"
"Magellan? You like Magellan?"
"Oh yeah, my favorite explorer. Around the world, come on. Who do you like?"
"I like DeSoto."
"DeSoto? What did he do?"
"Discovered the Mississippi."
"Oh, like they wouldn't have found that anyway."
- George and Jerry, in "The Boyfriend"


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