 |
Seinfeld Quotes... |
"THE
BEARD"
- "Have
you ever been to the ballet?"
- "No, but
I've seen people on tiptoes."
- - Elaine
and Jerry, in "The Beard"
-
- "I never
realized what an attractive man he is. Oh, he's a real
looker, that one."
- - Kramer,
talking about George, who is now wearing a toupee, in
"The Beard"
-
- "I think
they might have sutured that thing to your brain."
- - Elaine,
disdainful of George's new toupee, in "The
Beard"
-
- "And we
discover yet another talent... Posing as a girlfriend for
homosexuals."
- - Jerry,
to Elaine, in "The Beard"
-
- "Did you
describe yourself to her over the phone?"
- "Yes I
did."
- "What
did you say?"
- "What do
you think I said?"
- "I don't
know."
- "I told
her the truth."
- "As you
see it?"
- "Yes, as
I see it."
- "Did you
tell her about your little hat there?"
- "What
hat?"
- "You
know, your little hair hat there."
- - Jerry
and George, in "The Beard"
-
- "When
someone is lying, is it true that their pants are
actually on fire?"
- - Jerry,
in "The Beard"
-
- "I feel
like my old self again... Totally inadequate, completely
insecure, paranoid, neurotic... It's a pleasure."
- - George,
after Elaine threw his toupee out the window, in
"The Beard"
-
- "You've
had like a religious awakening. You're like a
bald-again"
- - Jerry,
to George, in "The Beard"
-
- "Just
remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
- - George,
in "The Beard"
-
- "I have
hit the jackpot. The perfect man -- nothing but sex and
shopping."
- - Elaine,
in "The Beard"
-
- "Being a
woman, I only really have access to the equipment, what,
30-45 minutes a week, and that's on a good week. How can
I be expected to have the same expertise as people who
own this equipment and have access to it 24 hours a day
their entire lives?"
- - Elaine,
in "The Beard"
-
- "Well,
there's always a place for you on our team."
- - Jerry,
to Elaine, in "The Beard"
-
- "I got
rejected by a bald woman."
- - George,
in "The Beard"
