Seinfeld Quotes...


"She doesn't deserve a baby shower. She deserves a baby monsoon."
- George, in "The Baby Shower"
"Explain to me how this baby shower thing works."
"What do you wanna know?"
"Well, I mean, does it ever erupt into a drunken orgy of violence?"
- Jerry and Elaine, in "The Baby Shower"
"Someday, before I die, mark my words... I'm gonna tell that woman exactly what I think of her. I'll never be able to forgive myself until I do."
"And if you do?"
"I still won't be able to forgive myself, but at least it won't be about this."
- George and Jerry, in "The Baby Shower"
"Man, it's the nineties... It's Hammer time!"
- Kramer, in "The Baby Shower"
"You're wearing the chocolate shirt!"
- Jerry, to George, in "The Baby Shower"
"Yeah, I eat the whole apple. The core, stem, seeds, everything."
- Kramer, in "The Baby Shower"
"Sometimes the road less travelled is less travelled for a reason."
- Jerry, in "The Baby Shower"
"Every woman on the face of the earth has complete control of my life. And yet, I want them all. Is that irony?"
- George, in "The Baby Shower"


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