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Seinfeld Quotes... |
"THE
ABSTINENCE"
- "Who are you gonna eat to survive?"
- "Kramer."
- "So fast? What about me?"
- "No."
- "Kramer's so stringy. I'm plump,
juicy."
- "Kramer's got more muscle, higher
protein content. It's better for you."
- "Well, I would eat you."
- "That's very nice, I guess."
- "I still don't see why you
wouldn't eat me. I'm your best friend."
- "Look, if other people are having
some, I'll try you."
- "Thank you."
- - George
and Jerry, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "I can do six weeks standing on my head. I'm
a sexual camel."
- - George,
who will have to abstain from sex, in "The
Abstinence"
-
- "I'm getting bumped? You're bumping me from
career day?"
- - Jerry,
at his old junior high, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "So you're enjoying the not enjoying."
- - Jerry,
to George, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "What is with all these books?"
- "I stopped having sex."
- - Elaine
and George, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "Guys, hitting is not about muscle. It's
simple physics. Calculate the velocity, v, in relation to
the trajectory, t, in which g, gravity, of course remains
a constant. It's not complicated."
- - George,
to Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams, in "The
Abstinence"
-
- "To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You
just take for granted the fact that any time you put some
trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit's gonna come
along and pick it up. But now, it's like a garbage
strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk
is blocked. Nothing's getting through. You're stupid."
- - Jerry,
to Elaine, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "My face is all craggly, it's crinkly!"
- "It's from all that smoke. You've experienced
a lifetime of smoking in seventy-two hours. What did you
expect?"
- "Emphysema, birth defects,
cancer. But not this. Jerry, my face is my livelihood.
Everything I have I owe to this face."
- "And your teeth, your teeth are
all brown."
- "Look away, I'm hideous."
- - Kramer
and Jerry, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "I always knew that after I became a doctor,
I would dump whoever I was with and find someone better.
That's the dream of becoming a doctor."
- - Ben, to
Elaine, in "The Abstinence"
-
- "This is the most public yet of my many
humiliations."
- - Jackie
Chiles, in "The Abstinence"