Talking To Myself
I know my son isn't deaf. He hears very well, in fact.
But there are certain things I say to him, on an almost daily basis, that he seems to be unable to hear and process. It's like I'm just talking to myself.
However, I continue to say these things, repeating them like a hypnotic mantra, and hoping that, one day, maybe, the words will get through to his brain.
Here are five of them:
1. "Don't eat like a dog."
No matter what type of food is on his plate, he inevitably ends up scraping most of it off the edge and into his mouth, with his chin planted firmly on the table. He's not fond of dogs, so I think maybe that example will dissuade him from such bad manners. He says it's easier to eat this way, and it gets him to dessert so much faster.
2. "Hang up your t-shirts."
I fold them, stack them, and leave them on his bed. And they always end up in a pile on his closet floor. They only get picked up to be worn, then tossed back into the hamper at the end of the day. And the cycle continues.
3. "Stop hitting your sister."
This is the one that perplexes me the most. If I asked my son to give his sister a hug, he would make a face, pretend to gag, then say, "Yuck, I don't want to touch her!" And yet, there seems to be no better fun than for the two of them to poke, slap, tickle, and hit each other.
4. "Turn off the light and go to sleep."
My son has no problem getting into his bed, but he will read all night if I don't remind him to stop. I don't mind this one so much, because it's good that he loves to read. I just don't like to hear all the yawning the next day. I do enough of that myself.
5. "Come here."
Such simple words. You wouldn't think anyone would have trouble understanding them. So, why do I have to repeat them five times when I need my son to come to where I am? After the fifth repetition, when my voice has gone up in volume considerably, he will then break his trance to ask, "What do you want?" When he finally does hear me, he still doesn't understand. So I have to rephrase the statement with specific directions and definitions. "I, your dad, need you, the person I'm speaking to, to get up off the couch, walk into the kitchen, stand in the general vicinity of my location, and receive special instructions concerning a chore or activity." By that time I'm usually too tired to remember why I wanted him to come there in the first place.
But there are certain things I say to him, on an almost daily basis, that he seems to be unable to hear and process. It's like I'm just talking to myself.
However, I continue to say these things, repeating them like a hypnotic mantra, and hoping that, one day, maybe, the words will get through to his brain.
Here are five of them:
1. "Don't eat like a dog."
No matter what type of food is on his plate, he inevitably ends up scraping most of it off the edge and into his mouth, with his chin planted firmly on the table. He's not fond of dogs, so I think maybe that example will dissuade him from such bad manners. He says it's easier to eat this way, and it gets him to dessert so much faster.
2. "Hang up your t-shirts."
I fold them, stack them, and leave them on his bed. And they always end up in a pile on his closet floor. They only get picked up to be worn, then tossed back into the hamper at the end of the day. And the cycle continues.
3. "Stop hitting your sister."
This is the one that perplexes me the most. If I asked my son to give his sister a hug, he would make a face, pretend to gag, then say, "Yuck, I don't want to touch her!" And yet, there seems to be no better fun than for the two of them to poke, slap, tickle, and hit each other.
4. "Turn off the light and go to sleep."
My son has no problem getting into his bed, but he will read all night if I don't remind him to stop. I don't mind this one so much, because it's good that he loves to read. I just don't like to hear all the yawning the next day. I do enough of that myself.
5. "Come here."
Such simple words. You wouldn't think anyone would have trouble understanding them. So, why do I have to repeat them five times when I need my son to come to where I am? After the fifth repetition, when my voice has gone up in volume considerably, he will then break his trance to ask, "What do you want?" When he finally does hear me, he still doesn't understand. So I have to rephrase the statement with specific directions and definitions. "I, your dad, need you, the person I'm speaking to, to get up off the couch, walk into the kitchen, stand in the general vicinity of my location, and receive special instructions concerning a chore or activity." By that time I'm usually too tired to remember why I wanted him to come there in the first place.
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 1:45 AM
5 Comments:
having the same problem here!
1. Carry your plates into the kitchen.
2. Brush your teeth.
3. Pick up your shoes.
4. Unpack your lunchbox.
5. Come here. Come here. Come here. Come here.
Believe me it DONT get any better LOL
x
I think it's a childhood disease. They all get it. Although I'm pretty sure kids consider "don't eat like a dog" more of a challenge than an order.
Have you tried whispering these suggestions over and over again to him as he sleeps?
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