Growing Up Too Fast
"Experts said that by age six, girls needed branded clothes, at seven they wanted styled hair, by eight they were beginning diets, at nine they were styling their hair and by early teens were engaging in sex or sending sexually explicit text messages."
So says a news article by Gemma Jones and Clementine Cuneo that appeared in The Daily Telegraph, out of Sydney, Australia.
Either this is just an Australian phenomenon or my family is severely isolated, because I'm not seeing this in my 8-year-old daughter or her friends.
To my eyes, they seem like normal little girls. No make-up, fashion talk, fancy hair, or cell phones.
You might now be shaking your head and saying, "Poor naive homeschooling dad, he doesn't know what it's like out there."
Because my kids are homeschooled, and I'm out of touch with what goes on in the public schools these past few years.
And we don't have cable or satellite channels beaming TV commercials into our subconscious.
Yes, it's true, there are certain negative influences missing from our lives.
But I'd like to think that it's not just my kids who are growing up at their own natural and age-appropriate pace.
I'd like to think that other little girls my daughter's age are still coloring pictures of butterflies, cuddling on the couch with their pet cat, reading stories of pioneer girls, and running through the park just to feel the wind in their hair.
Please tell me that article is just some weird social anomaly unique to the other side of the world, and that I don't have to worry about my kids growing up too fast.
If you want to tell me otherwise, maybe it's best that I just don't know.
So says a news article by Gemma Jones and Clementine Cuneo that appeared in The Daily Telegraph, out of Sydney, Australia.
Either this is just an Australian phenomenon or my family is severely isolated, because I'm not seeing this in my 8-year-old daughter or her friends.
To my eyes, they seem like normal little girls. No make-up, fashion talk, fancy hair, or cell phones.
You might now be shaking your head and saying, "Poor naive homeschooling dad, he doesn't know what it's like out there."
Because my kids are homeschooled, and I'm out of touch with what goes on in the public schools these past few years.
And we don't have cable or satellite channels beaming TV commercials into our subconscious.
Yes, it's true, there are certain negative influences missing from our lives.
But I'd like to think that it's not just my kids who are growing up at their own natural and age-appropriate pace.
I'd like to think that other little girls my daughter's age are still coloring pictures of butterflies, cuddling on the couch with their pet cat, reading stories of pioneer girls, and running through the park just to feel the wind in their hair.
Please tell me that article is just some weird social anomaly unique to the other side of the world, and that I don't have to worry about my kids growing up too fast.
If you want to tell me otherwise, maybe it's best that I just don't know.
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 2:17 AM
11 Comments:
I'd like to think my kids fall somewhere in the middle. I don't tend to listen to experts--typically they're a bunch of wackos with no real-life perspective.
Wonder if the ones writting this so called article actually have kids?
I think it's all rubbish, I don't see it here in Australia. as the article suggested. unless it's the Sydney siders only, 1000km's away from my state, phew luckily.
Here in WA (western australia) most kids are still just that kids. Perth is known as a big country town. Yes there are the certain percentage that I suppose do such things but then I blame parenting.
Or maybe I also live in my own world and don't see these things.
I'm just gonna shrugg it off as not true!
I think part of it is the parenting style. I couldn't wait for my older two girls to grow up and do things so I introduced them earlier. They were almost like the article you quoted. My younger two, twins of age nine, are more like you describe. They still color pictures and have no interest in hair styles or make up. They are starting to get pickier about their clothes but its more color choices rather than style choices. One thing I notice happening that is a sign of them growing up is they are starting to gossip. I tired to keep them young and innocent but those girl genes eventually break free.
I don't have personal experience, but just from looking at some of my young neighbors, it always looks like they're just looking for attention to make themselves feel worthy, and all we need to do is find ways of giving them what they need in a positive way. The need to feel good about yourself in not a bad thing, but when the only way to do it is to go on a pre-teen shopping spree then the adults are doing something wrong.
i live in california and have 2 daughters, ages 9 and 4. the elder goes to an alternative public charter school. we don't have cable, but they do at their dads house. their grandparents buy them toys 'r' us crap. we don't.
and i disagree with the experts in this article. my 4 year old likes faireys and princesses, unprovoked by me, but she also loves to hear stories about harriet tubman and not change her clothes for 5 days.
my 9 year old could care less about fashion, likes her hair long and prefers japanimation on the internet over disney.
@melanie
i think it's kinda disappointing you refer to your daughters gossiping as a "girl gene". the way we talk about others is learned behavior, not genetics.
My 13 year old daughter just used the phrase "friends with benefits" to describe the interaction of two of her eighth grade classmates. I was horrified, but when I inquired I learned this meant that, though they were not officially boyfriend and girlfriend,they held hands.
I have a 12 year old daugher, and aside fromt the cell phone which she hardly uses, she does none of the other stuff. She goes to a religous school, so perhaps that has something to do with it, oh and we actually parent so that must be part of it too. As for those "experts" I am sure they only used the data that would give them the results they desired, kind of like CNN and political polls.....
My daughter is kind of in-between too. She likes Hannah Montana or iCarly on a t-shirt, but she couldn't care less whether her hair is combed.
There is nothing wrong with how you want your kids to grow up. At least, they are in a peaceful world. But, of course, not all things can be taught by parents. Don't be afraid to get them into something they might like.
Poor naive homeschooling dad...
It IS out there, but you are SO right in your supposition that it is what a kid is exposed to that makes ALL the difference!
We have chosen to go with public school - for good or bad - but spend the time to temper that with a more "sheltered" reality at home. This leaves us with the responsibility of making sure our kids know what it is they run into out there...
My 8-yr-old daughter is starting to have pop-culture friends who spout what they see/hear on TV/CD/MP3/online, and are sooooooo concerned with being just like their "idols". She also still has friends who come over to play princess and dressup. And she has no problem doing puppet shows with her 5-yr-old brother. She's pretty comfortable just being herself.
To get to that point, though, we've had some frank discussions about how what you feed your mind affects your growth just as much as what you feed your body affects it.
The amazing thing: She really understands it! She can be friends with the pop-culture kids, without having to let their ideas destroy her own.
I think it all comes down to what OM alluded to in their comment - give your kids the ability to make themselves feel worthy, and they won't need the approval of peers so bad to move beyond their nature.
I firmly beleive you CAN let your kids be kids, even with outside exposure.
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