Foot In Mouth
One nice thing about blogging is that nobody can read your words until you've checked them over several times. I frequently have to edit myself, from simple changes like spelling and grammar errors to rearranging entire paragraphs so my thoughts make some kind of sense.
There's really no reason to experience foot in mouth disease on your blog.
I wish that was true in real life.
The other day I was up on the roof, knocking off an empty wasp's nest, when I saw our neighbor pulling into her driveway. She's been pregnant for what seems like forever, so I was curious if the baby had arrived.
She stepped out of her car by herself, no baby. But I looked at her belly for confirmation. I mean, that's always a good way to tell where the baby might be, right?
Only, I was way up high on the roof. And not wearing my glasses.
She waved, and I asked, "Did you have the baby yet?"
And then I said it, but only because I was trying to explain myself, being way up high on the roof without my glasses, and not to mention that she was wearing a loose black windbreaker so how was I supposed to know?!
I said, "I can't tell."
I kind of knew when I said it, but have since been informed by my wife that you JUST DO NOT SAY THAT to a woman who has recently had a baby.
Because, yes, she had the baby. Two weeks before.
I didn't mean to say she was fat. I was just up on the roof, without my glasses, and she was covered by this billowy jacket, and I think I really meant to say, "I can't see anything and am pretty much blind!"
If it had been my blog, I would've read it a few times, hit the delete button, and just left it at, "How's the baby?"
By the way, this post was edited seven times, with two major deletions, one rewritten sentence, and four small grammar corrections.
There's really no reason to experience foot in mouth disease on your blog.
I wish that was true in real life.
The other day I was up on the roof, knocking off an empty wasp's nest, when I saw our neighbor pulling into her driveway. She's been pregnant for what seems like forever, so I was curious if the baby had arrived.
She stepped out of her car by herself, no baby. But I looked at her belly for confirmation. I mean, that's always a good way to tell where the baby might be, right?
Only, I was way up high on the roof. And not wearing my glasses.
She waved, and I asked, "Did you have the baby yet?"
And then I said it, but only because I was trying to explain myself, being way up high on the roof without my glasses, and not to mention that she was wearing a loose black windbreaker so how was I supposed to know?!
I said, "I can't tell."
I kind of knew when I said it, but have since been informed by my wife that you JUST DO NOT SAY THAT to a woman who has recently had a baby.
Because, yes, she had the baby. Two weeks before.
I didn't mean to say she was fat. I was just up on the roof, without my glasses, and she was covered by this billowy jacket, and I think I really meant to say, "I can't see anything and am pretty much blind!"
If it had been my blog, I would've read it a few times, hit the delete button, and just left it at, "How's the baby?"
By the way, this post was edited seven times, with two major deletions, one rewritten sentence, and four small grammar corrections.
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 12:04 PM
7 Comments:
There's nothing else for it. You're going to have to move.
This happened to me soon after I had our daughter. I got over it. But to tell you the truth, it helped to see how bad the guy felt as he tripped all over himself trying to undo the damage! Maybe you should hie yourself over there and bring her some Welcome Baby flowers or something. ;)
Of course, this is nothing compared to the ULTIMATE forbidden question...
"Are you pregnant?"
I gave up speaking years ago.
Ha ha..you've hit the most sensitive button for women!
At least it was the formally pregnant woman, and not her childless, non-pregnant friend! That would have you foot in your mouth up to your knee! It happened to me once. I never wore that shirt again.
Yes, that was unfortunate - but what a funny story (later, much later). It reminded me of the time when I was pregnant and a poor sap of a man saw my sister who was visiting our church and confusing her for me, he put his hand on her stomach and asked when the big day was.
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