Conspiracy Theory
My kids have been conspiring against me for years.
But I've long been wise to their scheming and have been able to thwart their more sinister plots.
The closest they've come to success was the year-long attempt to make me believe I was losing my hearing by mumbling at me constantly. They almost had me with that one.
After that they pulled an ingenious reverse auditory ploy by pretending that they were the ones with hearing problems, and thus couldn't possibly hear me when I asked them to pick up toys or wash hands.
I foiled that particular plan with a whispered, "Hey, look at this, there are two chocolate chip cookies left," and watched these two kids come running to the kitchen from distant bedrooms.
Their latest scheme seems to be a "good student, bad student" scenario designed to frustrate me into shortening our homeschool day. I think they must talk about it in the morning, before I'm awake. That would certainly explain why they continue to get up so early. It's the only time the planning committee can meet without parental interference.
But like I said, I'm on to them. I have to stay on my toes, because these kids are crafty. They're getting smarter with each passing day.
A few months ago I brought it all out into the open by announcing to them, "There's nothing you can do to fool me. For one thing, I'm smarter than you. And for another, when I was your age I tried all the same tricks. So I'll always be one step ahead of you."
I hope they keep trying, though. It's fun to watch, and it keeps their minds sharp.
But I've long been wise to their scheming and have been able to thwart their more sinister plots.
The closest they've come to success was the year-long attempt to make me believe I was losing my hearing by mumbling at me constantly. They almost had me with that one.
After that they pulled an ingenious reverse auditory ploy by pretending that they were the ones with hearing problems, and thus couldn't possibly hear me when I asked them to pick up toys or wash hands.
I foiled that particular plan with a whispered, "Hey, look at this, there are two chocolate chip cookies left," and watched these two kids come running to the kitchen from distant bedrooms.
Their latest scheme seems to be a "good student, bad student" scenario designed to frustrate me into shortening our homeschool day. I think they must talk about it in the morning, before I'm awake. That would certainly explain why they continue to get up so early. It's the only time the planning committee can meet without parental interference.
But like I said, I'm on to them. I have to stay on my toes, because these kids are crafty. They're getting smarter with each passing day.
A few months ago I brought it all out into the open by announcing to them, "There's nothing you can do to fool me. For one thing, I'm smarter than you. And for another, when I was your age I tried all the same tricks. So I'll always be one step ahead of you."
I hope they keep trying, though. It's fun to watch, and it keeps their minds sharp.
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 1:38 AM
6 Comments:
LOL. Yeah, it's ironic how snacks manage to "trim the fat" - so to speak.
I suppose if both my kids learn Spanish, they'll have the perfect opportunity to fool dad.
By the way, offer a shorter school day in exchange for classes all summer long!
Hahaha, but my two year old won't do that to me. Right? Funny post.
My boys do the same thing. One day, one of them happily does all of his lessons while the other whines and complains and the next day they switch. I thought it was just us.
ah, bet april 1st was a joy in your house :-)
Kids totally mess with our minds. It works that way with food too...but I know how to fight back. If you tell a kid to eat something, you can darn near guarantee that not one bit f that food is going to go into their mouths...but if you totally don't pay attention and let them discover it for themselves and don't push it, they are asking for second before you've finished your first bite of food. It happened just last night to me with my 2 year old. She toys with us and makes us sweat it out!
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