If You Keep Losing Sleep
We have a sleep problem in our house.
Bedtime in our house is 8pm, which is actually when the kids start getting ready with pajamas, teeth brushing, showers, etc. Then they have until 9 to read quietly in their beds.
It's a routine we've kept for years now.
But lately, both kids have been fighting falling asleep. They're "thinking about stuff" or "not tired" or "too hot" or "too cold." The hours pass by and I find them still awake as late as 11pm.
I've always been a huge believer in kids getting the right amount of sleep. Up to age 5, we made sure it was more than 12 hours a night. Since then, we've dropped it down to 11 and now 10 hours, which is what most experts recommend for first through fifth graders.
Their late bedtimes might not be a problem if they would sleep in, but both of them are up at 7am like clockwork. Without fail. Even on the weekends when they know it might mean losing an arm or leg to wake daddy at that hour.
Losing sleep has a huge negative effect on a kid's performance in school, and that's something I see directly as a homeschooler. It's frustrating to teach a yawning, drowsy child with drooping eyelids. I have to repeat directions and stand over them so they don't drift off in a daydream. I can't even imagine being a public school teacher with a dozen or so sleepy kids sitting zombie-like at their desks.
Our solution to this problem has been to simply remain steadfast about bedtime. I make sure the house is quiet, and that lights are out for good at 9pm, with no exceptions. For years, my son has fallen asleep to a sound machine (set to "gentle rain"), but I'm wondering if that device has outlived its usefulness.
When I check up on the kids around 9:30, if I find someone awake I use gentle tones to remind them of the importance of sleep to their developing brains. I've always told them why they need sleep, rather than simply ordering them to bed.
Other than what we're already doing, I'm not sure what else would help. If anyone has advice that has worked for their children, I'd love to hear it.
Bedtime in our house is 8pm, which is actually when the kids start getting ready with pajamas, teeth brushing, showers, etc. Then they have until 9 to read quietly in their beds.
It's a routine we've kept for years now.
But lately, both kids have been fighting falling asleep. They're "thinking about stuff" or "not tired" or "too hot" or "too cold." The hours pass by and I find them still awake as late as 11pm.
I've always been a huge believer in kids getting the right amount of sleep. Up to age 5, we made sure it was more than 12 hours a night. Since then, we've dropped it down to 11 and now 10 hours, which is what most experts recommend for first through fifth graders.
Their late bedtimes might not be a problem if they would sleep in, but both of them are up at 7am like clockwork. Without fail. Even on the weekends when they know it might mean losing an arm or leg to wake daddy at that hour.
Losing sleep has a huge negative effect on a kid's performance in school, and that's something I see directly as a homeschooler. It's frustrating to teach a yawning, drowsy child with drooping eyelids. I have to repeat directions and stand over them so they don't drift off in a daydream. I can't even imagine being a public school teacher with a dozen or so sleepy kids sitting zombie-like at their desks.
Our solution to this problem has been to simply remain steadfast about bedtime. I make sure the house is quiet, and that lights are out for good at 9pm, with no exceptions. For years, my son has fallen asleep to a sound machine (set to "gentle rain"), but I'm wondering if that device has outlived its usefulness.
When I check up on the kids around 9:30, if I find someone awake I use gentle tones to remind them of the importance of sleep to their developing brains. I've always told them why they need sleep, rather than simply ordering them to bed.
Other than what we're already doing, I'm not sure what else would help. If anyone has advice that has worked for their children, I'd love to hear it.
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 10:14 PM
13 Comments:
warm to hot showers...starting with the oldest and he can read while the others are in the process.
Maybe starting at 7 now that it is getting dark. explaining that being they are having a hard time getting their act together it takes more time... that you would be open to suggesstions of 8 again, if they can prove they can get to sleep soon after being put to bed?
I have the same problem, but only with our son. He'll be totally quiet and we only find out he's awake when we come to check on him. He seems to do a bit better when we do the whole bedtime ritual (tuck him in, read a book, pray together, hugs and kisses) rather than just sending him to bed with a quickie prayer and flicking off the lights.
To be honest, I had to use heavy-handed techniques with Seth to get him to sleep. Gentle, soothing words only encouraged him -- and Lael for that matter -- to keep pushing the envelope.
To solve the problem, we created elaborate go-to-sleep rituals. But when it came time to go to bed, the kids had to fall asleep within 10 minutes. I stayed in the room to enforce it and say things like: "stop thrashing. You can't fall asleep if you're moving."
Every now and then, I raise my voice to say "GO TO SLEEP." More often than not, it works.
Nowadays, I don't stay in the room as much as I used to, but at times it is clear that Seth or Lael are not going to sleep. I then return to the 10-minute, I'm watching you rule.
It may seem harsh to some, but then after three years of no sleep, you tend to get a wee bit more ruthless.
We're running into similar problems with Fae. Used to be, bedtime started at 8:30, asleep by 9:30. Now, she's pushing and pushing. Last night was 11:00. Wouldn't be so bad, since we're all pretty nocturnal, but she tends to wake up between 7:30 and 8:30.
Not sure what to do about it, either. Although the warm bath approach seems to help.
Same problem here. Staying in the room with them helps some, but that's hard for me after spending every waking minute with them during the day. But it's usually worth it if they fall asleep quickly.
I just wish someone would tell me to go to bed at 9:00.
You can try running them. I _think_ it works for our kids, or maybe it's just a lucky coincidence. A hour or so of running around in the backyard before dinner helps. It has to be real running...soccer...tag...football, and not just playing outside.
The real problem with this plan is that it makes me really tired too.
I agree with the running comment. We find that our son is ready for sleep if he's had fresh air and some exercise. If he's been inside for most of the day, or just hasn't burned off some of his physical energy, bedtime is a battle, and a cyclical one at that, since being overtired just makes him more stubborn. If it's raining or just hard to get outside, a good wrestling match or tickling fight helps, as long as it's not too close to bedtime.
Heavy doses of codeine products or dramamine seem to work.
KIDDING!!!
But seriously, reading always made my kids tired, whether they were read to by me or they read themselves. But every kid is different. My 17 year old only sleeps about 5-6 hours a night and I've given up trying to get him to go to sleep anymore. It's his problem now.
How about a swift heavy blow to the base of the skull?
I agree with Rich S. Some good aerobic exercise in the early evening usually relaxes our brood.
But even when they can't sleep and keep getting up to tell us, I just tell them, "You don't have to sleep, but you have to stay in bed."
I'm thinking, even if they aren't sleeping, at least they might be getting rest.
Maybe I should just trade bedtimes with them. I love to sleep.
This was my 3 part plan for the kids I nanny:
1. Trampoline - this is the most tiring and fun form of exercise around, and I sent the kids out for half an hour of extreme jumping before dinner.
2. Move dinner back a bit to make room for trampolining and allowing that full-tummy sleepiness to help you out.
3. Pre-bed journaling. Especially for kids kept awake by "thinking about things" I think it helps to organize your thoughts before bed. Also helps reinforce those writing skills.
-Madeline
There are talk in Australia to start High school classes as late as 10 or 11am so that teenagers can sleep in.
Apparently your kids are normal!
The physiology of teens (yours almost there) changes and makes them alert come late evening. (Is it got to do with cortisone or something like that?)
So here it's noted and they are considering how to help kids with this natural occurrence.
Little man still falls asleep after bath, teeth and book, the teens NOT and we make them read 'till about 9:30 or 10pm, then lights out. So far it works for us, then they're up at 7am, school starts at 8:50am.
We start around 7pm for our two youngest kids (ages 5 and 3). They are usually asleep by 8pm, but lately my five-year old keeps getting up to tell me we're too noisy or for some other excuse. Not sure what's going on with him lately.
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