Guest Post: L.A. Daddy
Today's guest post is from Tim, at L.A. Daddy, one of my favorite dad bloggers. He's been busy lately with a big cross-country move, but he took the time to send me this humorous observation.I Might Be Too Strong
by Tim, at L.A. Daddy
I'm not allowed to open products in my house. It's one of many things I'm not allowed to do, but this one is most embarrassing. In most houses, the father is the one who opens up the packages that arrive. He opens the cereal boxes at breakfast time. He operates the can opener. He's the one who twists off that stubbornly jammed jar lid.
No me.
Is it because I'm too weak? Not masculine enough? No, not really...
In fact, the opposite might be true. I might be too strong. Too "manly." Why? Because men don't read directions. We can't stand instructions. We laugh at printed manuals and detailed explanations.
It never fails that at least two or... seven times a week, L.A. Mommy will bring a product we've bought from the grocery store to my attention. You know those bags of lettuce that have the little zip-lock zippy thing on the side to seal it up after you've opened it? Yeah, well, the top to ours has been completely ripped off. By, um... me.
You know the bag of apples that has the twisty clip at the opening to hold the plastic netting closed? Um, yeah, I've ripped a hole in the side of the bag. And the last time I was allowed to open the plastic bag inside the cereal box? I pulled it so hard that I shredded the entire plastic bag and sent Sugary Fruity Puffs flying all over the kitchen.
L.A. Toddler thought it was very funny. My wife? Not so much.
So, like a little kid, I've been punished. I'm not allowed to open anything. Anymore. Until I learned my lesson. That scissors are my friend when it comes to cereal bags. That I should read the "how to open" directions on the sides of food bags. That I should take the time to look for, and find, the re-sealable entrance to all types of containers.
Oh, I still have to open the lids on fingernail polish bottles.
I am a man after all...
Be sure to visit L.A. Daddy for more parenting humor and wisdom!
Permalink posted by Idaho Dad at 12:35 PM
6 Comments:
What about beer? Is she letting you open beers? This is serious.
I really felt you on that one LA. That is me to a tee as well. Who needs to stop and take a second to examine the proper way to open something when it can be forceably done much faster? I just get the look and I know that I have been facially chastised.
It's not you, it's dumb packaging!
I feel for you. It is tough to have big biceps.
Whit - Relax. The beer opening is safe. I've trained L.A. Baby to handle those duties. She doesn't have teeth yet, but she can gum that cap right off.
James - We don't need to stinkin' instructions!
Brett - Amen, brother. Amen.
DCUrbanDad - When you're packin' guns... you need to use 'em, n'est pas?
It's been a while since I've laughed outloud while sitting alone reading blogs. Hilarious! :)
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