No Babysitter Needed
When we moved into our new house a few years back, one of our neighbors came over to welcome us with a plate of cookies.
She also wanted to let us know that her daughter had recently passed some sort of babysitter test and was "ready and willing to sit for your kids!"
We'd never used a babysitter before, and didn't foresee any need to use one in the near future.
Every time we'd see that neighbor, she'd remind us about her daughter. "She's very caring and attentive!"
Well, I'm sure she is, but I'm not running a welfare service here. I'm not going to create a parents' night out just to put a few bucks in some teenager's pocket.
So, my kids are almost 10 and 7, and they've never had a babysitter. What's the big deal?
Some people have a problem with this. I've actually watched friends become angry when I told them we have no need for a babysitter. "You have to spend time as a couple or your relationship will suffer," they yell at me, as if the health of my marriage depends upon a weekly date night.
The truth of the matter is, my wife and I probably see too much of each other anyway. I'm always around the house, night and day. If anything, I'm surprised she's not sick of me yet.
As for date night, we have one of those practically every night after the kids are asleep - watching DVDs, working on projects, talking, ordering pizza, or just sitting in front of the fire.
It's so much cheaper to just stay home. When we do have extra money for a movie or concert, it's usually one we want to see with the kids. So we go as a family.
No babysitter needed.
She also wanted to let us know that her daughter had recently passed some sort of babysitter test and was "ready and willing to sit for your kids!"
We'd never used a babysitter before, and didn't foresee any need to use one in the near future.
Every time we'd see that neighbor, she'd remind us about her daughter. "She's very caring and attentive!"
Well, I'm sure she is, but I'm not running a welfare service here. I'm not going to create a parents' night out just to put a few bucks in some teenager's pocket.
So, my kids are almost 10 and 7, and they've never had a babysitter. What's the big deal?
Some people have a problem with this. I've actually watched friends become angry when I told them we have no need for a babysitter. "You have to spend time as a couple or your relationship will suffer," they yell at me, as if the health of my marriage depends upon a weekly date night.
The truth of the matter is, my wife and I probably see too much of each other anyway. I'm always around the house, night and day. If anything, I'm surprised she's not sick of me yet.
As for date night, we have one of those practically every night after the kids are asleep - watching DVDs, working on projects, talking, ordering pizza, or just sitting in front of the fire.
It's so much cheaper to just stay home. When we do have extra money for a movie or concert, it's usually one we want to see with the kids. So we go as a family.
No babysitter needed.
Permalink posted by Phil at 7:57 PM
14 Comments:
We do leave our kids with a sitter from time to time--usually Grandpa and Grandma, but if they're not available, there is a very small handful of trusted (adult) friends--usually ones that have kids around the same age--that we are comfortable trusting with our children. I am what I refer to as "vigilant" and what most of my friends call "overprotective". But you know what? I'm okay with that. :)
It sounds like you're still getting all the benefits of date night, so tell those worried friends to save their concern for Steve Carrell's children..heehee!
We like to get out for meals every now and again. This usually is the result of grandparents having the kid over to sleep rather than anyone coming to our house.
I wouldn't have anyone I didn't know doing it though.
We don't have the grandparent option, unfortunately. No relatives in town at all. That would change things, I think.
There have been school events we've needed babysitters for. My wife, who complains she doesn't see enough of me, appreciates going on a date. I suppose it just depends on circumstance.
We have used a friend only a few times when we had no option and attended a work function but apart from that we are pretty much the same as you guys. We don't have grandparents or family to help out and I just don't trust strangers with my kids, no matter how good their certificate says they are. We'd rather do family stuff and (like now) the little one is asleep and we are quietly doing stuff. Hubby is watching a documentary while I sit here on the couch and catch up with e-mails and blogs. We chat and discuss things as we go.
Being the youngest in my family (both brother and sister are considerably older), I spent a good part of my teens 'baby-sitting' for my nephews. But I knew them. I wouldn't have wanted to do it for strange kids I had no connection with.
hmmmm, I thought most people did that anyway. You can't be too careful who you leave your kids with nowadays.
I'd have to agree for the most part with you...I don't get those people who are handing over their kid to the g-parent 3 days a week (yeah I have a friend who does that!) just so they can have "me" time. It's been hard for me to hand my child over to her very loving grandmother every two weeks so my husband and I can have a "romantic" date. I'll have to say I think we both miss her when she's not with us! At least you can understand that and I don't have to say "how sad are we?" ;-)
Wow Phil, I'm not sure I could handle that. My passion for the theater and for live "adult" music is too strong...I never want to give that stuff up. While we take the kiddies almost everywhere, there are some times mom and dad need a swanky meal downtown before a show.
We don't use the grandparents much now that I work at home, but sometimes they'll take them for the day, just for fun, and I'll seize the moment to drink heavily, er, I mean, go see a non-kid movie or the like.
Don't be so hard on the neighbor. Her daughter obviously _wants_ to be a babysitter. The mom's just too pushy for you.
In our society, there is no culture of babysitting..nobody is going to let their kids (even their wives) to babysit at night even for few hours and nobody dares to hire any strangers to babysit their baby for the sake of few hours dating. Most people will hire live-in maids whom they'll learn to know and trust or just use some relatives' help. And then there's people like us who date the spouse only during lunch hour at work if the work nature per mits us. And we survive so far..
We mostly have relied on my mom or my sister when they come to visit so we can go out, but I really wish we had a sitter so we could go out more often. Not weekly, but even once a month would be nice. I think it is important to have time away from the house and kids as a couple. Every time we have done it we've come away refreshed as a couple and as parents. But that's just us!
I only ever leave my kids with my parents. That's it. I cannot imagine letting a young teenager look after my children.
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