Memories Can't Wait
My son will turn ten this year, and I suddenly realized that the clock is ticking. Ticking loudly.
I have eight more years to make memories with him, and eleven more years with my daughter, and then they will be adults making memories of their own.
How am I going to make the most of that preciously short time with my children? I ask myself this over and over now, because I don't want to be asking this question when it's too late and I'm full of regrets for the things that I did not do.
The easy answer is just to be there for them, at every opportunity. I've got that one down already. We make memories every day with the fun that we have and the lessons that we learn.
As I hear that clock ticking, I think about the big memories, the ones that come from special days and events. That's when my mind turns to travel.
I don't understand parents who take trips without their children. I don't see the point of it. My wife and I will have more than enough time to travel together when the kids are grown. Now is the time that we have to show our kids the world and all the wonderful things in it.
So, I've put a priority on planning trips and vacations, both big and small, for us as a family. It's important to me to take my kids places, not just for their own education but also for the memories that will result.
I want to show my kids the Grand Canyon, the Colosseum of Rome, Mesa Verde, Machu Picchu, Disney World, The Louvre, Denali National Park, Stonehenge... There's no way we'll cross every destination off our list, but we'll try.
I also want to make memories out of places we return to on a regular basis. We always go back to the same beach to swim in the lake. We hike the same Forest Service trail in the nearby mountains. We ride the same rollercoaster at the amusement park. We do these things not just to make a memory, but to burn the very sense of them into our psyche, to make it a part of us beyond just a recall of one day in the life.
This summer we'll return for a third straight year to the beaches of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. It's become our family tradition, one I hope to repeat every year until the kids are grown. Hopefully, even beyond that. At some point this year we'll also find ourselves watching geysers in Yellowstone, and exploring the wilds of Western Canada.
For now, I hear the clock ticking. We have places to go and things to see, and the years are going by fast. We'll make the time, we'll find the money. It's important, because these memories can't wait.
Where do you make your family memories?
I have eight more years to make memories with him, and eleven more years with my daughter, and then they will be adults making memories of their own.
How am I going to make the most of that preciously short time with my children? I ask myself this over and over now, because I don't want to be asking this question when it's too late and I'm full of regrets for the things that I did not do.
The easy answer is just to be there for them, at every opportunity. I've got that one down already. We make memories every day with the fun that we have and the lessons that we learn.
As I hear that clock ticking, I think about the big memories, the ones that come from special days and events. That's when my mind turns to travel.
I don't understand parents who take trips without their children. I don't see the point of it. My wife and I will have more than enough time to travel together when the kids are grown. Now is the time that we have to show our kids the world and all the wonderful things in it.
So, I've put a priority on planning trips and vacations, both big and small, for us as a family. It's important to me to take my kids places, not just for their own education but also for the memories that will result.
I want to show my kids the Grand Canyon, the Colosseum of Rome, Mesa Verde, Machu Picchu, Disney World, The Louvre, Denali National Park, Stonehenge... There's no way we'll cross every destination off our list, but we'll try.
I also want to make memories out of places we return to on a regular basis. We always go back to the same beach to swim in the lake. We hike the same Forest Service trail in the nearby mountains. We ride the same rollercoaster at the amusement park. We do these things not just to make a memory, but to burn the very sense of them into our psyche, to make it a part of us beyond just a recall of one day in the life.
This summer we'll return for a third straight year to the beaches of the Olympic Peninsula in Washington. It's become our family tradition, one I hope to repeat every year until the kids are grown. Hopefully, even beyond that. At some point this year we'll also find ourselves watching geysers in Yellowstone, and exploring the wilds of Western Canada.
For now, I hear the clock ticking. We have places to go and things to see, and the years are going by fast. We'll make the time, we'll find the money. It's important, because these memories can't wait.
Where do you make your family memories?
Permalink posted by Phil at 12:19 AM
22 Comments:
We go to the SEC Men's Basketball Tournament every March. My husband's family did that when he was a kid and we have continued the tradition.
You're such a great dad! I'm glad someone else doesn't understand that whole going off without your kids thing! Those are some lucky kids you have there :-)
Uggh, tell me about it.
It hurts when I have to go away without kids due to work commitment..I try to get them the best memories too with the little budget we have. But the best memories I want them to have is the feeling of a mommy's hugs and kisses every night..and the songs mommy sings to wake them up every morning..
My wife and I don't have any children yet, but we haven't even been married 3 years yet.
We've been building pre-kid memories, because I'm 35 in about a month and will be an old man by the time I have adult children.
I built memories of my own, pre-married life by seeing Taiwan (several times), China, England, and Scotland. Since I've been married, my wife and I have been to France (the Louvre was amazing!), England, Ireland, Jamaica, Italy, Greece, Croatia, and Turkey. This year we plan to return to England and head North this time to Amsterdam, Finland, Denmark, Estonia, and Russia.
It's all we can do to scrape and save all year to travel like this, but it's not about the money, it's about the memories you build, the friends you meet, and the fun you have.
I'm sure that after we have children, we'll be taking them to as many places as we can, too.
At this point in the girl's lives, one of the best memory makers we do is perform together on stage in the Sixth Street Theater in Wallace. Right now we are rehearsing the third production the whole family has been involved in together. We are so fortunate they all enjoy being on stage and helping out, and we enjoy performing together. This may be our last chance since The Princess will be graduating from High School this year, and going to college, so we are cherishing this time together.
Speaking of trips for the family, have you ever traveled to the National Bison Range in Montana with your family? It is north of St. Regis, and it is a beautiful drive, and fun to see all wildlife up close such as bison, deer, elk, and antelope. There are some hot springs close by to stay at that are really fun, too.
We wouldn't go anywhere without Clare either. (Well maybe a night away if we could get it.) We've been going to the beach every summer and Disney World almost once a year. I can't wait until Clare will be mature enough to take to more places--places where there are more museums or sights and no rides.
When I met my husband, my now step daughter was 10 years old. She will be 18 in July and I can't even begin to think how fast that time has gone by. I am so glad that I've been a part of the great times that we've had, the memories we created and the traditions that we continue. As my husband says, "you never know when you're making a memory."
The only place we've gone with any consistency is Disneyland, which is great and we'll keep doing that, but I'm really looking forward to the fact that we're on the cusp of doing other things as well.
So true, so true. A few months ago I reluctantly spent a whopping $15 on Transformer pajamas for my eight year old, reasoning that they would probably be the last character pajamas I would ever buy for my boy.
Sniff...
We have such great memories! Midnight Mass at the Vatican, Palm Sunday in Maui with giant palms and Polynesian music, Big Hank Campground, Sherman Ave on the 4th of July, Lake Louise, the lights of Broadway, the beaches of Oregon and now Washington, thanks to your family. We had such great times and look forward to the times ahead. We still have plenty of time, as do you. Plenty of time...
Our neighbors just got back from two weeks in Belize without their 12 year old--I don't get that at all. We have always taken our two kids, now teens, everywhere with us, including Canada, Mexico, Belize, Ireland, Scotland, England, as well as Wash. DC., New England, National Parks in Utah, CA and WA. Last summer, my oldest hiked the Mt. Whitney mountain range with my husband--an 80 mile trek--including climbing to the top of Mt. Whitney. She also climbed Half Dome in Yosemite with him when she was 13...we know our kids will have all these special memories long into adulthood.
I so feel your sense of urgency! Thanks for the reminder to make every day count. :)
Actually, You have even less time since there is not such thing as a teenager. Most "kids" are adults at 13 or 14 - it is a recent cultural concept of "kids" being "kids" until 18.
I agree with you, the time flies to quick. Sadly for us our teenagers got to the stage where they don't wanna go cycling with us etc etc. I can only blame shared care I hope. We've been to the same holiday place twice also and it seemed nice enough, the kids were more free and relaxed the second time around in familiar surrounding.
Great post Phil.
I love this post. I also think of how prescious little time we have with our kids. I think it is completely sad when parents travel without their kids. I SO wish I had more money to travel with my children but I do try to take them places as much as possible in our country.
Clara is right, you never know when you're creating a memory. I have 4 grown daughters and when we get together, it amazes me what they talk about and remember - very seldom is it a holiday or trip; instead it's some silly "play" they wrote and preformed for us, or a day spent on a task or project.
I've watched lots of my friends kids while they went on vacation. Some people think it is good for their marriage. It's not for me though. I don't even go to the grocery store without at least one of mine! Our first big vacation my kids want to swim with dolphins so thats where we will go .(bummer! lol)
Actually, there is nothing prima facie wrong with a couple leaving the kids behind to take a romantic vacation. It can rejuvenate their marriage and meet adult to adult needs and strengthen their commitment. Is it the only way? Nope. Should they take every vacation sans kids? Nope. Is it wrong to do it occasionally? Not at all.
In the long run, having a balanced marriage including getting adult needs met through romantic getaways and friendships and activities with other adults makes for much better parents. Keeping a narrow tunnel vision on only the kids probably ends up leaving kids feeling overwhelmed and overdependent.
Virginia (and Hawaii and Mexico and Vegas) is for lovers.
Nice post, and I hear the clock too. Right now my boys are 15 and 16 and my daughter is 11. In about 3 years our household dynamic is going to change dramatically.
We have been taking the 900 mile road trip to KY every year to meet up with my wife's family for Easter. This is a rejuvenating experience every year just when the woes of MN winter have taken their toll. We're now planning a family cruise (our first) for next winter so I'm looking forward to that as a family bonding experience, before the boys leave the nest.
leaving the kids behind to take a romantic vacation
I'm glad that works out for you. It doesn't for us, for several reasons. One, we have the money and time off for only one big vacation each year. I'm not going to let a whole year go by without a family getaway.
Two, I don't know anyone I would leave my kids with, so that takes care of that.
Three, my wife and I had eight years before we had kids. And we'll have many years after the kids are grown. The short time in between we're happier doing things as a family.
Four, when we do go on our family vacations, there are plenty of opportunities for us to do things without the kids. Cruises, for example, have children's activities at certain times, allowing the parents to be by themselves for a good number of hours.
Last, my wife and I would be incapable of enjoying a vacation because we'd just keep saying, "Oh, I wish the kids were here to see this."
I'm with you on the need for family vacations. My father instilled that in us when we were kids. Even if he was broke, he figured out some sort of roadtrip. I do, however, understand why parents occasionally need trips without the kids, as we've been feeling the need for some quiet downtime lately - something that is unattainable when the kids are around 24/7.
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