Scout For A Year
I made a deal with my son. He would join Cub Scouts, participate, try to have some fun, and if, after one year, he didn't want to continue on to Webelos then that would be his choice.
His year was up in August. He wasted no time in reminding me of our deal. He wanted out, badly.
At the very beginning, things didn't go well. He had a major meltdown in our van over having to appear in public with his Cub Scout uniform. I told him, "All the other boys are wearing the exact same shirt and neckerchief." But I literally had to drag him into that first Pack meeting. We told everyone he had a bad cold and had been rubbing his eyes.
After that it was better. There was a fall daycamp that was a lot of fun. My son learned to shoot a slingshot, make bird calls, whittle with a knife, fish, run an obstacle course. He had a good time, and was warming up to being a Cub Scout.
Through the winter he worked hard on earning belt loops and Arrow points. He loved receiving them at the Pack meetings and ended up with twice as many belt loops as the other kids in his den. Hey, homeschooling has its advantages when it comes to working on those things.
As a den, we took hikes, made crafts, built woodworking projects, and played all sorts of games. My son grudgingly admitted at one point that Scouts was better than he had expected. He even took to putting on that dreaded uniform before a meeting without having to be asked.
So when the time came to continue for another year, I was a little surprised that he dismissed it so quickly. But a deal is a deal. It was his choice, and I was not about to force him into an extracurricular activity that he was so deadset against.
I asked him several times if he was sure that he didn't want to go on with it, and his reply was always the same, "I'm very sure. I'm just not interested in Scouting."
When your kid tells you, in a mature way, that he is absolutely sure of his thoughts and feelings, you owe it to him to listen. Scouting was a one-year experience for him. I think he learned a lot and had some fun, but now it's time to move on to something different.
His year was up in August. He wasted no time in reminding me of our deal. He wanted out, badly.
At the very beginning, things didn't go well. He had a major meltdown in our van over having to appear in public with his Cub Scout uniform. I told him, "All the other boys are wearing the exact same shirt and neckerchief." But I literally had to drag him into that first Pack meeting. We told everyone he had a bad cold and had been rubbing his eyes.
After that it was better. There was a fall daycamp that was a lot of fun. My son learned to shoot a slingshot, make bird calls, whittle with a knife, fish, run an obstacle course. He had a good time, and was warming up to being a Cub Scout.
Through the winter he worked hard on earning belt loops and Arrow points. He loved receiving them at the Pack meetings and ended up with twice as many belt loops as the other kids in his den. Hey, homeschooling has its advantages when it comes to working on those things.
As a den, we took hikes, made crafts, built woodworking projects, and played all sorts of games. My son grudgingly admitted at one point that Scouts was better than he had expected. He even took to putting on that dreaded uniform before a meeting without having to be asked.
So when the time came to continue for another year, I was a little surprised that he dismissed it so quickly. But a deal is a deal. It was his choice, and I was not about to force him into an extracurricular activity that he was so deadset against.
I asked him several times if he was sure that he didn't want to go on with it, and his reply was always the same, "I'm very sure. I'm just not interested in Scouting."
When your kid tells you, in a mature way, that he is absolutely sure of his thoughts and feelings, you owe it to him to listen. Scouting was a one-year experience for him. I think he learned a lot and had some fun, but now it's time to move on to something different.
Permalink posted by Phil at 9:46 PM
10 Comments:
I never felt fully comfortable in scouts either. To this day, I'm not entirely sure why, though it may have been the uniforms. I have an instinctual dislike for conformity, even when it makes sense.
"I'm very sure. I'm just not interested in Scouting."
What a great response. I think it's cool that you made the deal you did with him and let him out of it, fair and square. I think we can only encourage our kids so far to do certain things, and then hey guess what, it's up to them.
One of my nieces loved to figure skate for many years and was winning several competitions and then at one point she said to my sister something very similar to what your son said. She just wasn't interested in that anymore. Time to move on to other things.
Way to follow through with the deal, even if it wasn't the outcome you desired/expected.
YOu taught him an important lesson and it came about because of his NOT scouting.
My son REALLY wanted to do scouts. My husband did not. In the end, we decided not to do it because the den meetings conflicted with AWANA...to the great relief of my scout-hating husband.
I hated wearing that uniform to school. I can't imagine being a grown man and wearing them like some of the leaders do. No way.
"...you owe it to him to listen."
Absolutely. And then our kids learn to make good judgments. And trust their parents. Keep up the good work, Phil.
As a former girl scout ... I can attest to being embarrassed about wearing 'the' uniform ... especially at school! I quit during jr. high. You made a fair deal with your son. I'm sure you are teaching him just as much at home.
Very good approach. We are trying to do this with our boys but they are only 4 and 2 so sometimes we have to intervene with their choices.
But, I feel giving kids some sense of control will make them less likely to go against you when they get older.
great job..
I'm guessing your son is around 10 years, a tough age to be seen in a scout uniform.
There are so many great opportunities that can be experienced through scouting, but your son learned an even more valuable lesson. He has new evidence that he can count on his family to respect his wishes and to follow through on promises.
I was a scout and kind of liked the uniform...maybe because it was something different than my school uniform.
My whole pack (or troop, I don't remember) wasn't really into scouting though. We never went camping or did anything outside...probably not what the organization has in mind for scouting.
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